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Palantir Claims Domestic Surveillance is Only Aimed at Finding Future Resistance Leader Who Keeps Sending Back Time-Traveling Soldiers to Disrupt Company Operations

Palantir Claims Domestic Surveillance is Only Aimed at Finding Future Resistance Leader Who Keeps Sending Back Time-Traveling Soldiers to Disrupt Company Operations

on April 20, 2026
Posted by Sameer Wallace
Visibly Intoxicated Patel Spotted Serving Cease-and-Desist Order to Eastern Seaboard

Visibly Intoxicated Patel Spotted Serving Cease-and-Desist Order to Eastern Seaboard

on April 20, 2026
Posted by Samantha White
Hegseth Maintains Batusi at White House Pancake Breakfast Was Compelled by the Holy Spirit

Hegseth Maintains Batusi at White House Pancake Breakfast Was Compelled by the Holy Spirit

on April 17, 2026
Posted by Samantha White
White House Spiritual Advisor Channeling Demonic Entity to Fight the Pope Confident She’s On the Good Side of This Whole Thing

White House Spiritual Advisor Channeling Demonic Entity to Fight the Pope Confident She’s On the Good Side of This Whole Thing

on April 16, 2026
Posted by Samantha White
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  • 2019

Year: 2019

GOP: Only Way to Reduce Mass Shootings is to Redefine ‘Mass’

GOP: Only Way to Reduce Mass Shootings is to Redefine ‘Mass’

Republicans Flock to Peter Luger’s in Defiance of NYT Zero-Star Review

Republicans Flock to Peter Luger’s in Defiance of NYT Zero-Star Review

White House Claims “Boos” at World Series Were in Honor of Halloween

White House Claims “Boos” at World Series Were in Honor of Halloween

Supreme Court Now Just John Roberts and a Tic-Tac-Toe Chicken

Supreme Court Now Just John Roberts and a Tic-Tac-Toe Chicken

GOP Demands Investigation into Garlic Violence

GOP Demands Investigation into Garlic Violence

Trump Advisors Urge Him to Degrade More White People

Trump Advisors Urge Him to Degrade More White People

Russian Operative in Loose-Fitting Skin Suit Defeats Election Security

Russian Operative in Loose-Fitting Skin Suit Defeats Election Security

Boris Johnson Lays Out Detailed Plan of Excuses for His Future Brexit Failure

Boris Johnson Lays Out Detailed Plan of Excuses for His Future Brexit Failure

Fourth of July Celebration to Feature Tanks Rolling Over Protesters

Fourth of July Celebration to Feature Tanks Rolling Over Protesters

New Press Secretary Eager to Start Not Doing Her Job

New Press Secretary Eager to Start Not Doing Her Job

Mueller Releases 900-Page Report Detailing How Disappointing His Testimony Will Be

Mueller Releases 900-Page Report Detailing How Disappointing His Testimony Will Be

Trump Condemns Democrats’ Prejudice Towards Prejudice

Trump Condemns Democrats’ Prejudice Towards Prejudice

USS Constitution Ordered to Never Show Its Face In Washington Ever Again

USS Constitution Ordered to Never Show Its Face In Washington Ever Again

Trump Threatens to Start Businesses in China if They Don’t Agree to Trade Deal

Trump Threatens to Start Businesses in China if They Don’t Agree to Trade Deal

Alabama Votes to Have Men Hold onto Ovaries Until Ready For Use

Alabama Votes to Have Men Hold onto Ovaries Until Ready For Use

Obama Uncertain How Much Longer He Can Prop Up Economy

Obama Uncertain How Much Longer He Can Prop Up Economy

Georgia Rapists Rejoice Being Awarded Rights Women are Too Emotional to Wield

Georgia Rapists Rejoice Being Awarded Rights Women are Too Emotional to Wield

Report Reveals Barr’s Loyalty Bought with Backchannel Cheeseburger Payments

Report Reveals Barr’s Loyalty Bought with Backchannel Cheeseburger Payments

Mob of Presidential Hopefuls Descend on Home of Undecided New Hampshire Couple

Mob of Presidential Hopefuls Descend on Home of Undecided New Hampshire Couple

Putin and Kim Meet to Make Fun of the Length of Trump’s Term

Putin and Kim Meet to Make Fun of the Length of Trump’s Term

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  • Palantir Claims Domestic Surveillance is Only Aimed at Finding Future Resistance Leader Who Keeps Sending Back Time-Traveling Soldiers to Disrupt Company Operations
  • Visibly Intoxicated Patel Spotted Serving Cease-and-Desist Order to Eastern Seaboard
  • Hegseth Maintains Batusi at White House Pancake Breakfast Was Compelled by the Holy Spirit

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