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SpaceX IPO Earns Musk Earns Title of Poorest Excuse for a Human Being

SpaceX IPO Earns Musk Earns Title of Poorest Excuse for a Human Being

on June 12, 2026
Posted by Sameer Wallace
FIFA Shocked to Learn International Fans Unwilling to Spend $4,000 to Be Harassed for Their Papers

FIFA Shocked to Learn International Fans Unwilling to Spend $4,000 to Be Harassed for Their Papers

on June 10, 2026
Posted by Sameer Wallace
RFK Jr. Defends Snacking on Buckets of Screwworms During CDC Briefing

RFK Jr. Defends Snacking on Buckets of Screwworms During CDC Briefing

on June 8, 2026
Posted by Samantha White
Trump Moves NBA Finals to White House Court So He Doesn’t Have to Leave Couch

Trump Moves NBA Finals to White House Court So He Doesn’t Have to Leave Couch

on June 5, 2026
Posted by Sameer Wallace
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  • February

Month: February 2026

CNN Rebrands as “Conservative News Network,” Insists It’s Totally Unrelated to Right Wing Billionaire Takeover

CNN Rebrands as “Conservative News Network,” Insists It’s Totally Unrelated to Right Wing Billionaire Takeover

Trump Vows to Ramble Incoherently On All Topics Unrelated to the State or the Union in Historic State of the Union Address

Trump Vows to Ramble Incoherently On All Topics Unrelated to the State or the Union in Historic State of the Union Address

USA Hockey Players Report Gold Medal Slightly Heavier Due to the Kash Patel Dangling From It

USA Hockey Players Report Gold Medal Slightly Heavier Due to the Kash Patel Dangling From It

Trump Dispatches Military Hospital Ship to Cure Greenland of Democracy

Trump Dispatches Military Hospital Ship to Cure Greenland of Democracy

Noem Orders $70 Million Luxury Jet for “Ummm… Deportations”

Noem Orders $70 Million Luxury Jet for “Ummm… Deportations”

Administration Desperately Seeking New Ways to Cripple U.S. Economy After SCOTUS Rules Against Tariffs

Administration Desperately Seeking New Ways to Cripple U.S. Economy After SCOTUS Rules Against Tariffs

Latest White House Distraction Backfires When Declassified Alien Visitors Start Asking About Epstein Files

Latest White House Distraction Backfires When Declassified Alien Visitors Start Asking About Epstein Files

Users Report Grok Keeps Steering Conversations Toward “Maturity” and “Old Souls” and Asking if Parents Are ‘Home Right Now’

Users Report Grok Keeps Steering Conversations Toward “Maturity” and “Old Souls” and Asking if Parents Are ‘Home Right Now’

RFK Jr. and Kid Rock Announce Bipartisan Fitness Initiative After Ripping Rails off Toilet Seats in Matching Denim Gym Suits

RFK Jr. and Kid Rock Announce Bipartisan Fitness Initiative After Ripping Rails off Toilet Seats in Matching Denim Gym Suits

DHS Receives Shiny New Dead-Eyed Blonde with Veneers to Replace Exiting Spokesmodel

DHS Receives Shiny New Dead-Eyed Blonde with Veneers to Replace Exiting Spokesmodel

Inkjet That Printed Recent Epstein Leak Dies of Mysterious Paper Jam

Inkjet That Printed Recent Epstein Leak Dies of Mysterious Paper Jam

Trump Renames “President’s Day” to “President Day,” Claiming Only One Really Matters

Trump Renames “President’s Day” to “President Day,” Claiming Only One Really Matters

EPA Declares Earth “Self-Cleaning, Like a Fancy Oven”

EPA Declares Earth “Self-Cleaning, Like a Fancy Oven”

Viewers Decide They Prefer “Resting Bitch Face” Bondi to “Bitching Without Rest” Face Bondi

Viewers Decide They Prefer “Resting Bitch Face” Bondi to “Bitching Without Rest” Face Bondi

“Just Be Patient” Says Guy Who Said He’d Fix Everyone’s Problems on Day 1

“Just Be Patient” Says Guy Who Said He’d Fix Everyone’s Problems on Day 1

Lutnick Admits He Visited Epstein’s Pedophile Island, but Only Because the Lunch Buffet Was Too Good to Pass Up

Lutnick Admits He Visited Epstein’s Pedophile Island, but Only Because the Lunch Buffet Was Too Good to Pass Up

Viewers Outraged by Kid Rock Performing Halftime Show in Drunken, Slurred, Out of Synch, Redneck Gibberish Instead of English

Viewers Outraged by Kid Rock Performing Halftime Show in Drunken, Slurred, Out of Synch, Redneck Gibberish Instead of English

White House Clarifies Overt Racism Acceptable When Framed in “Whimsical Disney Context”

White House Clarifies Overt Racism Acceptable When Framed in “Whimsical Disney Context”

25th Winter Olympics Commence With 25th Explanation of What Curling Is

25th Winter Olympics Commence With 25th Explanation of What Curling Is

Jeff Bezos Sinks Washington Post to Free Up Cash for Yacht With Smaller Yacht Inside It

Jeff Bezos Sinks Washington Post to Free Up Cash for Yacht With Smaller Yacht Inside It

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  • SpaceX IPO Earns Musk Earns Title of Poorest Excuse for a Human Being
  • FIFA Shocked to Learn International Fans Unwilling to Spend $4,000 to Be Harassed for Their Papers
  • RFK Jr. Defends Snacking on Buckets of Screwworms During CDC Briefing

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