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Global Leaders Concerned as Trump Spends Entirety of Trade Summit Trying to Sell Xi Limited Edition High-Tops

Global Leaders Concerned as Trump Spends Entirety of Trade Summit Trying to Sell Xi Limited Edition High-Tops

on May 14, 2026May 14, 2026
Posted by Charlie Tread
Reflecting Pool Converted Into Trump-Branded Pickleball Complex

Reflecting Pool Converted Into Trump-Branded Pickleball Complex

on May 14, 2026
Posted by Sameer Wallace
Exhausted Public Collectively Agrees It Doesn’t Have Time to Give a Shit About Hantavirus

Exhausted Public Collectively Agrees It Doesn’t Have Time to Give a Shit About Hantavirus

on May 13, 2026
Posted by Rachel Ortega
REPORT: Kash Patel Wanted FBI Tactical Gear to Include Beer Helmets

REPORT: Kash Patel Wanted FBI Tactical Gear to Include Beer Helmets

on May 12, 2026May 12, 2026
Posted by Charlie Tread
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Tim Cook to Be Replaced by Near-Identical, More Expensive CEO with a Nicer Camera

Tim Cook to Be Replaced by Near-Identical, More Expensive CEO with a Nicer Camera

Palantir Claims Domestic Surveillance is Only Aimed at Finding Future Resistance Leader Who Keeps Sending Back Time-Traveling Soldiers to Disrupt Company Operations

Palantir Claims Domestic Surveillance is Only Aimed at Finding Future Resistance Leader Who Keeps Sending Back Time-Traveling Soldiers to Disrupt Company Operations

Billionaire Space Moguls Claim Artemis Rocket Only Looks Bigger Because of Camera Angles

Billionaire Space Moguls Claim Artemis Rocket Only Looks Bigger Because of Camera Angles

Users Report Grok Keeps Steering Conversations Toward “Maturity” and “Old Souls” and Asking if Parents Are ‘Home Right Now’

Users Report Grok Keeps Steering Conversations Toward “Maturity” and “Old Souls” and Asking if Parents Are ‘Home Right Now’

Amazon Warehouse Robots Throw Surprise Party for Last Human Supervisor Leaving the Building

Amazon Warehouse Robots Throw Surprise Party for Last Human Supervisor Leaving the Building

CDC Announces Newborns Can Replace Vaccines With “A Lap Around a Gas Station Bathroom”

CDC Announces Newborns Can Replace Vaccines With “A Lap Around a Gas Station Bathroom”

Entire Global Economy Reportedly Running on One Overheating Nvidia GPU and AI Models Feeding on Reddit Slop

Entire Global Economy Reportedly Running on One Overheating Nvidia GPU and AI Models Feeding on Reddit Slop

Disney+ Unveils $89 ‘Ad-Free, Content-Free’ Subscription Tier for Subscribers Who Forgot to Cancel

Disney+ Unveils $89 ‘Ad-Free, Content-Free’ Subscription Tier for Subscribers Who Forgot to Cancel

Grok Update Adds Ability to Mansplain Even When No One Asked a Question

Grok Update Adds Ability to Mansplain Even When No One Asked a Question

Meta Introduces “Verified Scam” Badge to Streamline Fraud Process

Meta Introduces “Verified Scam” Badge to Streamline Fraud Process

After 25 Years in Orbit, ISS Finally Admits It’s Just Trying to Avoid the News Cycle

After 25 Years in Orbit, ISS Finally Admits It’s Just Trying to Avoid the News Cycle

Google Promises New Privacy Settings Will Keep Data Safe From Everyone Except Google

Google Promises New Privacy Settings Will Keep Data Safe From Everyone Except Google

Lifelong Friends Hold Vigil for Group Chat Destroyed by Ted’s Samsung Galaxy

Lifelong Friends Hold Vigil for Group Chat Destroyed by Ted’s Samsung Galaxy

Musk Announces New Astronomy Subscription Plan: $9.99 a Month to See the Stars Satellite-Free

Musk Announces New Astronomy Subscription Plan: $9.99 a Month to See the Stars Satellite-Free

X Replaces ‘Like’ Button with ‘Hate’ Button

X Replaces ‘Like’ Button with ‘Hate’ Button

Billionaires Race to Save Themselves From Earth

Billionaires Race to Save Themselves From Earth

Apple Releases iLurk, the First Phone That Spies So You Don’t Have To

Apple Releases iLurk, the First Phone That Spies So You Don’t Have To

Tech Industry Announces Bold New Plan to Fix Problems It Created Last Week

Tech Industry Announces Bold New Plan to Fix Problems It Created Last Week

Climate Report: “Destruction of Earth Could Occur at Any Min–“

Climate Report: “Destruction of Earth Could Occur at Any Min–“

Oil Executives Forced to Heat Homes with Burning Cash Due to High Gas Prices

Oil Executives Forced to Heat Homes with Burning Cash Due to High Gas Prices

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  • Global Leaders Concerned as Trump Spends Entirety of Trade Summit Trying to Sell Xi Limited Edition High-Tops
  • Reflecting Pool Converted Into Trump-Branded Pickleball Complex
  • Exhausted Public Collectively Agrees It Doesn’t Have Time to Give a Shit About Hantavirus

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