Category: Technology

Climate Report: “Destruction of Earth Could Occur at Any Min–“

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A shocking new 2,000-page climate report commissioned by the White House was released this week detailing the effects of climate change on the US economy. Unfortunately, the report appeared to be unfinished with the last few pages incinerated by volcanic ash before scientists could complete it. Since these missing pages contained the […]

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Company with no Relation to Mark Zuckerberg

Facebook Renames Itself “Company with No Relation to Mark Zuckerberg”

MENLO PARK, CA – In the midst of a slew of crises, Facebook has officially changed its name in an attempt to rebrand itself due to the increased scrutiny of its public image. At the conference Facebook revealed its new name to be “Company with No Relation to Mark Zuckerberg”, which many see as a way of distancing itself from its embattled CEO Mark Zuckerberg who still runs and owns a voting majority in the company.

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Romaine Farmers Adding Gun Parts in Effort to Kill With Impunity

CAMARILLO, CA — Romaine farmers throughout the country are feeling the pinch after all shipments of their leafy produce were halted when 32 people fell ill from E.coli poisoning. The FDA immediately issued an alert and recalled all possibly contaminated romaine lettuce after people from 11 different states reported symptoms including nausea and diarrhea. Desperate to maintain […]

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Cabinet Holds Emergency Meeting in Lower Statrosphere

Members of Trumps Cabinet Charter SpaceX Flight to Privately Deal with Travel Scandal After revelations that five members of Trumps cabinet had been using millions of taxpayer dollars to travel to private vacation destinations, White House officials have brought up major concerns about leaks. Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke was the latest to join the growing […]

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Facebook Tries to Manage Stupidity

Social Media Giant Plans to Crack Down on “Fake News” In light of recent revelations that Russian operatives used Facebook advertising to disseminate false information about candidate Hillary Clinton, Facebook has decided to begin monitoring “fake news”. Although many Trump supporters themselves call this move “fake news”, several have already found themselves banned for 24 […]

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