WASHINGTON, DC — A former Democratic National Committee intern reportedly spent months convincing himself that everyone had moved on from his embarrassing mistake of forgetting to rig the 2024 election, only to discover that President Trump had absolutely no intention of letting the incident fade into history.
On Thursday, the President broadcast a rambling 30-minute tirade on rigged elections stating China and the DNC interfered in the 2020 election, but forgot in both 2016 and 2024.
“I figured after a few weeks people would stop bringing it up,” sighed the anonymous intern, staring at an untouched performance review with the words ‘Critical Election Tasks’ circled in red. “Then every one of his rallies, every interview, every speech… he just won’t let it go.”
According to sources, the intern had allegedly received a handwritten sticky note from his DNC handlers reading, “Rig election,” but accidentally filed it under “Miscellaneous” before leaving early for a three-day weekend.
“I figured I’d do it Monday,” he stated.
He never did.
Trump, meanwhile, has continued referencing election interference with the consistency of a man who has found the world’s favorite conversation topic.
“Every time I think it’s over, he brings it up again,” the intern said. “I’m trying to move on with my career, but apparently my one missed assignment is going to define me forever.”
The DNC declined to comment, though one spokesperson admitted the department has since implemented mandatory Outlook reminders, recurring calendar invites, and quarterly compliance training for all assigned tasks. “He dropped the ball for sure, just like the intern in 2016. Not everyone can be like our 2020 intern. Regardless, we’ve taken steps to ensure no one forgets in 2028.”
Political analysts agreed that if a nationwide election really depended on one unpaid intern remembering a single checklist item, it would represent one of the least impressive criminal enterprises ever conceived.
As for the intern, he says he has accepted that the mistake will likely follow him for the rest of his life.
“I’ve made peace with it,” he said. “I just wish he’d stop mentioning it every single week.”
