Congress Solves Budget Crisis By Scheduling Much Bigger Budget Crisis For Later on July 23, 2026 Posted by Samantha White
DNC Intern Who Forgot to Rig 2024 Election Mistakenly Thought It Would Blow Over on July 17, 2026 Posted by Samantha White
McConnell Filibusters Family’s Attempt to Take Him Off Life Support on July 9, 2026 Posted by Samantha White
Kennedy Center Perplexed by Lagging Ticket Sales After Audience Held Captive and Forced to Watch Apprentice Musical
Study Finds 8 Out of 10 Home Helper Robots Still Can’t Tell Difference Between ‘Clean’ and ‘Set on Fire’
Meteorologists Describe Hurricane Melissa McCarthy as “Loud, Unpredictable, and Full of Body Positivity”
Parents Told “Costume Incomplete” Until Child Summons Five Choreographed Minions from the Nether Realm
