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New Iran Deal Allows Tankers to Round Up Toll Fees to Support Local Warlords

New Iran Deal Allows Tankers to Round Up Toll Fees to Support Local Warlords

on June 15, 2026
Posted by Rachel Ortega
SpaceX IPO Earns Musk Earns Title of Poorest Excuse for a Human Being

SpaceX IPO Earns Musk Earns Title of Poorest Excuse for a Human Being

on June 12, 2026
Posted by Sameer Wallace
FIFA Shocked to Learn International Fans Unwilling to Spend $4,000 to Be Harassed for Their Papers

FIFA Shocked to Learn International Fans Unwilling to Spend $4,000 to Be Harassed for Their Papers

on June 10, 2026
Posted by Sameer Wallace
RFK Jr. Defends Snacking on Buckets of Screwworms During CDC Briefing

RFK Jr. Defends Snacking on Buckets of Screwworms During CDC Briefing

on June 8, 2026
Posted by Samantha White
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Latest

Redrawn GOP Map Connects Every Republican Voter by One Long Driveway

Redrawn GOP Map Connects Every Republican Voter by One Long Driveway

Asshole Billionaires Threaten to Pack Up Their Shit and Ruin a Different City After Mamdani Elected

Asshole Billionaires Threaten to Pack Up Their Shit and Ruin a Different City After Mamdani Elected

Ghost of Dick Cheney Haunts Pentagon, Demands One Last War for Old Time’s Sake

Ghost of Dick Cheney Haunts Pentagon, Demands One Last War for Old Time’s Sake

Judge Orders Lively and Baldoni to Settle Dispute Through Dramatic Monologue in Rain

Judge Orders Lively and Baldoni to Settle Dispute Through Dramatic Monologue in Rain

Kennedy Center Perplexed by Lagging Ticket Sales After Audience Held Captive and Forced to Watch Apprentice Musical

Kennedy Center Perplexed by Lagging Ticket Sales After Audience Held Captive and Forced to Watch Apprentice Musical

Study Finds 8 Out of 10 Home Helper Robots Still Can’t Tell Difference Between ‘Clean’ and ‘Set on Fire’

Study Finds 8 Out of 10 Home Helper Robots Still Can’t Tell Difference Between ‘Clean’ and ‘Set on Fire’

Prince Andrew Stripped of Title, But Retains Sense of Entitlement

Prince Andrew Stripped of Title, But Retains Sense of Entitlement

After 25 Years in Orbit, ISS Finally Admits It’s Just Trying to Avoid the News Cycle

After 25 Years in Orbit, ISS Finally Admits It’s Just Trying to Avoid the News Cycle

Meteorologists Describe Hurricane Melissa McCarthy as “Loud, Unpredictable, and Full of Body Positivity”

Meteorologists Describe Hurricane Melissa McCarthy as “Loud, Unpredictable, and Full of Body Positivity”

White House Vows to Donate Ballroom’s Uneaten Hors d’Oeuvres to 42 Million Starving Americans

White House Vows to Donate Ballroom’s Uneaten Hors d’Oeuvres to 42 Million Starving Americans

Google Promises New Privacy Settings Will Keep Data Safe From Everyone Except Google

Google Promises New Privacy Settings Will Keep Data Safe From Everyone Except Google

Blue Jays Arrive at World Series Confident They Can Bring Home a Participation Trophy

Blue Jays Arrive at World Series Confident They Can Bring Home a Participation Trophy

RFK Jr. Urges Americans to Only Seek Medical Advice from “Friends Who’ve Done Their Own Research”

RFK Jr. Urges Americans to Only Seek Medical Advice from “Friends Who’ve Done Their Own Research”

Kim Kardashian Sheds Final Human Layer, Emerges Smooth and Dishwasher Safe

Kim Kardashian Sheds Final Human Layer, Emerges Smooth and Dishwasher Safe

Lifelong Friends Hold Vigil for Group Chat Destroyed by Ted’s Samsung Galaxy

Lifelong Friends Hold Vigil for Group Chat Destroyed by Ted’s Samsung Galaxy

Family’s Fully Loaded Aldi Cart Declared “Obscene Display of Wealth”

Family’s Fully Loaded Aldi Cart Declared “Obscene Display of Wealth”

Report: 98% of NBA Players Claim “Best Shape of My Life,” Remaining 2% Are Nikola Jokić

Report: 98% of NBA Players Claim “Best Shape of My Life,” Remaining 2% Are Nikola Jokić

White House Unveils Plans for Champagne Fountain and Presidential DJ Booth

White House Unveils Plans for Champagne Fountain and Presidential DJ Booth

Parents Told “Costume Incomplete” Until Child Summons Five Choreographed Minions from the Nether Realm

Parents Told “Costume Incomplete” Until Child Summons Five Choreographed Minions from the Nether Realm

Company Holds Meeting to Discuss How to Have Fewer Meetings

Company Holds Meeting to Discuss How to Have Fewer Meetings

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  • New Iran Deal Allows Tankers to Round Up Toll Fees to Support Local Warlords
  • SpaceX IPO Earns Musk Earns Title of Poorest Excuse for a Human Being
  • FIFA Shocked to Learn International Fans Unwilling to Spend $4,000 to Be Harassed for Their Papers

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