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New Iran Deal Allows Tankers to Round Up Toll Fees to Support Local Warlords

New Iran Deal Allows Tankers to Round Up Toll Fees to Support Local Warlords

on June 15, 2026
Posted by Rachel Ortega
SpaceX IPO Earns Musk Earns Title of Poorest Excuse for a Human Being

SpaceX IPO Earns Musk Earns Title of Poorest Excuse for a Human Being

on June 12, 2026
Posted by Sameer Wallace
FIFA Shocked to Learn International Fans Unwilling to Spend $4,000 to Be Harassed for Their Papers

FIFA Shocked to Learn International Fans Unwilling to Spend $4,000 to Be Harassed for Their Papers

on June 10, 2026
Posted by Sameer Wallace
RFK Jr. Defends Snacking on Buckets of Screwworms During CDC Briefing

RFK Jr. Defends Snacking on Buckets of Screwworms During CDC Briefing

on June 8, 2026
Posted by Samantha White
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Latest

Global Economists Agree: It’s Fine, We’ll Just Print More Optimism

Global Economists Agree: It’s Fine, We’ll Just Print More Optimism

X Replaces ‘Like’ Button with ‘Hate’ Button

X Replaces ‘Like’ Button with ‘Hate’ Button

Billionaires Race to Save Themselves From Earth

Billionaires Race to Save Themselves From Earth

Apple Releases iLurk, the First Phone That Spies So You Don’t Have To

Apple Releases iLurk, the First Phone That Spies So You Don’t Have To

NFL Promises Safer Games by Replacing Tackles with Meaningful Eye Contact

NFL Promises Safer Games by Replacing Tackles with Meaningful Eye Contact

Migrant Caravan of Intellectuals Continue Push North to Canada

Migrant Caravan of Intellectuals Continue Push North to Canada

Tech Industry Announces Bold New Plan to Fix Problems It Created Last Week

Tech Industry Announces Bold New Plan to Fix Problems It Created Last Week

Congress Accidentally Solves Problem While Arguing About Who Caused It

Congress Accidentally Solves Problem While Arguing About Who Caused It

Measles, Mumps, & Rubella Comeback Tour a Smashing Success

Measles, Mumps, & Rubella Comeback Tour a Smashing Success

Clarence Thomas Hospitalized to Remove Wife’s Hand from Rectum

Clarence Thomas Hospitalized to Remove Wife’s Hand from Rectum

Ghost of Democracy Still Haunting Elevator in Senate Office Building

Ghost of Democracy Still Haunting Elevator in Senate Office Building

Facebook Renames Itself “Company with No Relation to Mark Zuckerberg”

Facebook Renames Itself “Company with No Relation to Mark Zuckerberg”

Julian Assange’s Cat Requests Asylum From Assange

Julian Assange’s Cat Requests Asylum From Assange

Murderous Horde of Migrant Mimes Thwarted by Invisible Border Wall

Murderous Horde of Migrant Mimes Thwarted by Invisible Border Wall

Construction Begins on Wall of Ignorance Surrounding Republican Party

Construction Begins on Wall of Ignorance Surrounding Republican Party

Kavanaugh Excited to Begin Exacting Revenge on Women

Kavanaugh Excited to Begin Exacting Revenge on Women

As Women Flee Oppressive Laws, Red States are Starting to Feel ‘Super Gay’

As Women Flee Oppressive Laws, Red States are Starting to Feel ‘Super Gay’

Georgia Republicans Move Atlanta Voting Booth to Icy Mountaintop

Georgia Republicans Move Atlanta Voting Booth to Icy Mountaintop

GOP: Only Way to Reduce Mass Shootings is to Redefine ‘Mass’

GOP: Only Way to Reduce Mass Shootings is to Redefine ‘Mass’

White House Claims “Boos” at World Series Were in Honor of Halloween

White House Claims “Boos” at World Series Were in Honor of Halloween

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  • SpaceX IPO Earns Musk Earns Title of Poorest Excuse for a Human Being
  • FIFA Shocked to Learn International Fans Unwilling to Spend $4,000 to Be Harassed for Their Papers

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