SAN FRANCISCO — In its latest move to “enhance user engagement and reflect the modern internet experience,” X (formerly known as Twitter, currently known as chaos) has officially replaced the traditional Like button with a new Hate button.
“Our research shows users were already expressing hatred,” said X Chief Posting Officer Elon Musk, already in hot water for his Starlink debacle, in a statement written entirely in memes. “We’re just cutting out the middleman.”
The new button, shaped like a small, throbbing flame, allows users to instantly express disapproval, disgust, or general existential dread. A single Hate now boosts a post’s visibility tenfold, ensuring that the most divisive, least factual content continues to rise to the top—“as God intended.”
Reaction to the change has been explosive, with many users praising the honesty of the feature. “Finally,” said one influencer, “I can publicly despise things without having to type!” Meanwhile, therapists nationwide have reported record appointments from people “accidentally hating” their friends’ baby photos.
According to X engineers, the Hate button will soon be accompanied by a Loathe option and a limited-edition Utter Contempt reaction, available only to verified users.
Asked whether this might contribute to rising online hostility, company officials shrugged. “Outrage drives engagement,” said one spokesperson. “And engagement drives profit. And profit drives our next rocket to Mars.”
The update will roll out next week, though users have already pre-emptively hated it.
