SEATTLE, WA — In a stunning return that has left doctors speechless and audiences feverish, the once-defeated trio Measles, Mumps & Rubella has stormed back onto the global stage with their “Unvaccinated & Unstoppable” comeback tour.
The viral sensations, who dominated charts throughout the early 1900s before being abruptly canceled by modern medicine, are now enjoying a renaissance fueled by social media hype and questionable research podcasts.
“It’s really about reconnecting with our old fans,” said Measles, sporting a vintage polka-dot jacket. “They said we’d never go viral again — but look at us now!”
Critics credit the group’s newfound popularity to a grassroots movement of parents who “just ask questions” and “prefer natural immunity, like our ancestors who died in their 20’s.” Their Facebook page, Freedom Fever Tour 2025, has already garnered millions of likes — and a few quarantines.
Public health officials, meanwhile, are scrambling to contain the tour’s explosive success. “They’re spreading faster than Taylor Swift tickets,” sighed one CDC spokesperson. “And at least Swift concerts come with hand sanitizer.”
Mumps and Rubella, now performing under the duo name The Swell Sisters, teased plans to collaborate with Chickenpox on an upcoming reunion album titled Infectious Energy.
When asked if they had any message for humanity, Measles simply grinned and said, “We’re just happy to be back in circulation.”
