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Infernal Heat Forces Both Great American State Fair Attendees to Head Home

Infernal Heat Forces Both Great American State Fair Attendees to Head Home

on July 3, 2026July 3, 2026
Posted by Samantha White
Corporate Donors Warn Mamdani Sweep Could Set Dangerous Precedent of Government Helping People

Corporate Donors Warn Mamdani Sweep Could Set Dangerous Precedent of Government Helping People

on June 24, 2026
Posted by Charlie Tread
White House Unveils New Plan to Refill Reflecting Pool with More Loyal Water

White House Unveils New Plan to Refill Reflecting Pool with More Loyal Water

on June 23, 2026
Posted by Samantha White
RFK Jr. Spotted Molting in Reflecting Pool Swamp

RFK Jr. Spotted Molting in Reflecting Pool Swamp

on June 16, 2026
Posted by Samantha White
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Year: 2025

Protesters Discover PB&J More Effective Than Tuna Melts Against ICE Agents

Protesters Discover PB&J More Effective Than Tuna Melts Against ICE Agents

Gavin Newsom Announces New Role as President of America’s Functioning Half

Gavin Newsom Announces New Role as President of America’s Functioning Half

Meta Introduces “Verified Scam” Badge to Streamline Fraud Process

Meta Introduces “Verified Scam” Badge to Streamline Fraud Process

RFK Jr. Urges Americans to Prepare for Flu Season by Burning Sage and the CDC’s Official Guidelines

RFK Jr. Urges Americans to Prepare for Flu Season by Burning Sage and the CDC’s Official Guidelines

Mike Johnson Blames Election Defeat on “Unfair Bias Toward Candidates Who Received Votes”

Mike Johnson Blames Election Defeat on “Unfair Bias Toward Candidates Who Received Votes”

Redrawn GOP Map Connects Every Republican Voter by One Long Driveway

Redrawn GOP Map Connects Every Republican Voter by One Long Driveway

Asshole Billionaires Threaten to Pack Up Their Shit and Ruin a Different City After Mamdani Elected

Asshole Billionaires Threaten to Pack Up Their Shit and Ruin a Different City After Mamdani Elected

Ghost of Dick Cheney Haunts Pentagon, Demands One Last War for Old Time’s Sake

Ghost of Dick Cheney Haunts Pentagon, Demands One Last War for Old Time’s Sake

Man Covered in “I Voted” Stickers Silently Judges Co-workers Who Haven’t Left the Office All Day

Man Covered in “I Voted” Stickers Silently Judges Co-workers Who Haven’t Left the Office All Day

Judge Orders Lively and Baldoni to Settle Dispute Through Dramatic Monologue in Rain

Judge Orders Lively and Baldoni to Settle Dispute Through Dramatic Monologue in Rain

Kennedy Center Perplexed by Lagging Ticket Sales After Audience Held Captive and Forced to Watch Apprentice Musical

Kennedy Center Perplexed by Lagging Ticket Sales After Audience Held Captive and Forced to Watch Apprentice Musical

Study Finds 8 Out of 10 Home Helper Robots Still Can’t Tell Difference Between ‘Clean’ and ‘Set on Fire’

Study Finds 8 Out of 10 Home Helper Robots Still Can’t Tell Difference Between ‘Clean’ and ‘Set on Fire’

Prince Andrew Stripped of Title, But Retains Sense of Entitlement

Prince Andrew Stripped of Title, But Retains Sense of Entitlement

After 25 Years in Orbit, ISS Finally Admits It’s Just Trying to Avoid the News Cycle

After 25 Years in Orbit, ISS Finally Admits It’s Just Trying to Avoid the News Cycle

Top 10 Ways to Adapt to Having No Government

Top 10 Ways to Adapt to Having No Government

Meteorologists Describe Hurricane Melissa McCarthy as “Loud, Unpredictable, and Full of Body Positivity”

Meteorologists Describe Hurricane Melissa McCarthy as “Loud, Unpredictable, and Full of Body Positivity”

White House Vows to Donate Ballroom’s Uneaten Hors d’Oeuvres to 42 Million Starving Americans

White House Vows to Donate Ballroom’s Uneaten Hors d’Oeuvres to 42 Million Starving Americans

Google Promises New Privacy Settings Will Keep Data Safe From Everyone Except Google

Google Promises New Privacy Settings Will Keep Data Safe From Everyone Except Google

Study Finds Clickbait Headlines Could Lead to the Collapse of Civilization

Study Finds Clickbait Headlines Could Lead to the Collapse of Civilization

Democrats Concerned Fetterman Keeps Referring to Them as “You People”

Democrats Concerned Fetterman Keeps Referring to Them as “You People”

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  • Infernal Heat Forces Both Great American State Fair Attendees to Head Home
  • Corporate Donors Warn Mamdani Sweep Could Set Dangerous Precedent of Government Helping People
  • White House Unveils New Plan to Refill Reflecting Pool with More Loyal Water

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