WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senate Democrats are reportedly growing uneasy after multiple closed-door meetings in which Pennsylvania Senator John Fetterman has repeatedly referred to his own colleagues as “you people,” sources confirmed Friday.
“He said it again during the climate roundtable,” whispered one visibly shaken staffer. “He leaned back in his hoodie, crossed his arms, and said, ‘You people really think voters care about reuseable straws?’ Everyone just froze. Senator Warren dropped her kombucha.”
According to insiders, Fetterman’s use of the phrase has left fellow Democrats questioning whether he still identifies as one of them—as his views and voting behavior have become increasingly confusing. One aide described his attitude as “half working-class hero, half grumpy uncle who just wishes he was somewhere else.”
“Honestly, it’s confusing,” said another anonymous senator. “He mostly votes with us, but he talks like he’s narrating a Joe Rogan episode about corn subsidies.”
Fetterman, however, seems unfazed by the controversy. When asked by reporters if he regretted the phrasing, he shrugged and replied, “You people really need hobbies.”
Party strategists are now scrambling to conduct emergency polling on whether “you people” plays well with swing voters. Early data suggests it resonates strongly with anyone who owns more than one pair of work boots and has ever yelled at a thermostat.
Meanwhile, Senate Leader Hakeem Jeffries has reportedly asked Fetterman to “tone it down,” to which the senator allegedly responded, “You people worry too much.”
At press time, Democratic leaders were debating whether to issue an official statement—or just start referring to Fetterman as “that guy.”
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