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New Iran Deal Allows Tankers to Round Up Toll Fees to Support Local Warlords

New Iran Deal Allows Tankers to Round Up Toll Fees to Support Local Warlords

on June 15, 2026
Posted by Rachel Ortega
SpaceX IPO Earns Musk Earns Title of Poorest Excuse for a Human Being

SpaceX IPO Earns Musk Earns Title of Poorest Excuse for a Human Being

on June 12, 2026
Posted by Sameer Wallace
FIFA Shocked to Learn International Fans Unwilling to Spend $4,000 to Be Harassed for Their Papers

FIFA Shocked to Learn International Fans Unwilling to Spend $4,000 to Be Harassed for Their Papers

on June 10, 2026
Posted by Sameer Wallace
RFK Jr. Defends Snacking on Buckets of Screwworms During CDC Briefing

RFK Jr. Defends Snacking on Buckets of Screwworms During CDC Briefing

on June 8, 2026
Posted by Samantha White
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Year: 2025

Blue Jays Arrive at World Series Confident They Can Bring Home a Participation Trophy

Blue Jays Arrive at World Series Confident They Can Bring Home a Participation Trophy

NBA Wonders How Gambling Became Such a Problem After Partnering With Every Gambling Company on Earth

NBA Wonders How Gambling Became Such a Problem After Partnering With Every Gambling Company on Earth

RFK Jr. Urges Americans to Only Seek Medical Advice from “Friends Who’ve Done Their Own Research”

RFK Jr. Urges Americans to Only Seek Medical Advice from “Friends Who’ve Done Their Own Research”

Curator Admits Louvre Heist Could’ve Been Prevented If Alarm System Wasn’t So “Avant-Garde”

Curator Admits Louvre Heist Could’ve Been Prevented If Alarm System Wasn’t So “Avant-Garde”

Kim Kardashian Sheds Final Human Layer, Emerges Smooth and Dishwasher Safe

Kim Kardashian Sheds Final Human Layer, Emerges Smooth and Dishwasher Safe

“It All Happened So Fast,” Says Excavator Operator Who Spent Six Hours Methodically Leveling White House

“It All Happened So Fast,” Says Excavator Operator Who Spent Six Hours Methodically Leveling White House

Lifelong Friends Hold Vigil for Group Chat Destroyed by Ted’s Samsung Galaxy

Lifelong Friends Hold Vigil for Group Chat Destroyed by Ted’s Samsung Galaxy

Family’s Fully Loaded Aldi Cart Declared “Obscene Display of Wealth”

Family’s Fully Loaded Aldi Cart Declared “Obscene Display of Wealth”

Experts Recommend Replacing Doomscrolling With Gentle, Nutrient-Rich Dumbscrolling Before Bed

Experts Recommend Replacing Doomscrolling With Gentle, Nutrient-Rich Dumbscrolling Before Bed

Report: 98% of NBA Players Claim “Best Shape of My Life,” Remaining 2% Are Nikola Jokić

Report: 98% of NBA Players Claim “Best Shape of My Life,” Remaining 2% Are Nikola Jokić

White House Unveils Plans for Champagne Fountain and Presidential DJ Booth

White House Unveils Plans for Champagne Fountain and Presidential DJ Booth

Musk Announces New Astronomy Subscription Plan: $9.99 a Month to See the Stars Satellite-Free

Musk Announces New Astronomy Subscription Plan: $9.99 a Month to See the Stars Satellite-Free

Budget Negotiators Reach Historic Deal: Everyone Gets Less and Still Calls It a Win

Budget Negotiators Reach Historic Deal: Everyone Gets Less and Still Calls It a Win

Parents Told “Costume Incomplete” Until Child Summons Five Choreographed Minions from the Nether Realm

Parents Told “Costume Incomplete” Until Child Summons Five Choreographed Minions from the Nether Realm

Company Holds Meeting to Discuss How to Have Fewer Meetings

Company Holds Meeting to Discuss How to Have Fewer Meetings

BREAKING: Shohei Ohtani Tests Negative for Human DNA

BREAKING: Shohei Ohtani Tests Negative for Human DNA

Taylor Swift Rumored to Be Working on Album Entirely About Ticketmaster

Taylor Swift Rumored to Be Working on Album Entirely About Ticketmaster

Global Economists Agree: It’s Fine, We’ll Just Print More Optimism

Global Economists Agree: It’s Fine, We’ll Just Print More Optimism

Baseball Analytics Team Announces They’ve Officially Replaced Joy with Data

Baseball Analytics Team Announces They’ve Officially Replaced Joy with Data

Hollywood Celebrates First Film Entirely Written, Directed, and Canceled by AI

Hollywood Celebrates First Film Entirely Written, Directed, and Canceled by AI

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  • New Iran Deal Allows Tankers to Round Up Toll Fees to Support Local Warlords
  • SpaceX IPO Earns Musk Earns Title of Poorest Excuse for a Human Being
  • FIFA Shocked to Learn International Fans Unwilling to Spend $4,000 to Be Harassed for Their Papers

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