WASHINGTON, D.C. — Still visibly shaken, local excavator operator Dennis Holbrook insists the complete demolition of the White House “just sort of happened” — despite eyewitness reports confirming he spent six deliberate hours circling the site, adjusting angles, and “taking his sweet time with the columns.”
“It was all a blur,” said Holbrook, wiping away a tear and a fine layer of marble dust. “One minute I was lining up the bucket, the next minute… two centuries of democracy were gone. You blink, and boom — history’s flat.”
The incident began around 8:00 a.m. when Holbrook, who was contracted for a work order labeled “urban renovation”, arrived at the East Wing of the White House.
“I re-read the job details multiple times. I even contacted my foreman to make sure I was at the right place,” Holbrook stated, “He confirmed that I was there to demolish the whole right side of the White House.”
When pressed on the timeline, Holbrook admitted that “technically” it took six hours, but emotionally, it felt instantaneous. “You can’t measure regret in minutes,” he said. “Time moves differently when you’re erasing America’s history.”
Holbrook later elaborated on the moral conflict that haunted him throughout the job. “Look, I love this country,” he said, clutching his reflective vest like a folded flag. “I grew up watching fireworks over this place. Never thought I’d be living every terrorists wet dream, when I put on my hard hat this morning.” He paused before adding, “But a job’s a job. You get the paperwork, the site plan, the coordinates — you don’t stop to ask, ‘Hey, is this the nation’s symbolic heart of democracy?’ You just clock in and start digging.”
Even now, standing among the ruins, Holbrook admits he’s torn between guilt and professionalism. “Part of me wanted to stop. But another part said, ‘Dennis, this is your craft. Do it right.’ You don’t half-demolish the White House — that’s sloppy work.” He kicked a chunk of marble thoughtfully. “I guess that’s what being American is about. Doing your best, even when your best is the worst thing anyone’s ever done.”
Please share our content below…
