President Trump’s recent pick as head scientist for the USDA has many farmers fearing for the stability of the US food supply. Sam Clovis is a far right radio host from Iowa with no qualifications for the position which requires expertise in science and agriculture. In fact, as a climate change denier, Clovis could radically […]

Today, in a nationally televised display of bravado and impotence, President Trump declared opioids, “an emergency, and I am saying, officially, right now, it is an emergency. It’s a national emergency,” Whether he was lying or just confused is unclear, but White House officials later clarified that he had meant to say “public health emergency”. […]

A recent Goldman Sachs analysis has found that not a single billionaire would end up a trillionaire if the Trump administration’s new proposed tax cut is approved. Billionaires across the country are outraged with the analysis and said they intend to fight it to their last billion. “We are honest folk who just want what’s […]

In a bold address at an anti-LGBT event, president Trump stated his intention to end the long held persecution of Christmas. He affirmed that American’s will once again be able to openly declare “Merry Christmas!” without fear of government reprisal. The improvised speech was originally meant to discuss tax reform and promote Nazi values, but […]

Due to the increased scrutiny over their email scandal, First Daughter Ivanka Trump and her husband Jared Kushner have begun searching for a fall guy should the investigation escalate. Through a lifetime of impunity, the couple has a well established procedure for avoiding accountability. Scapegoat interviews suggest they may have accepted that both denials and […]

After facing growing criticism for his extended silence following the death of four American servicemen in Niger, President Trump finally issued a statement from the White House lawn. Although he has remained highly engaged with Twitter battles, it has been eight days since a platoon of elite Green Berets were ambushed by ISIS affiliated fighters […]

At a recent White House meeting between US military leaders and their spouses, President Trump sparked widespread speculation when he said, “The calm before the storm,” before a group photo was taken. Political leaders and press outlets scrambled to decode the meaning behind the ominous phrase as Trump failed to elaborate. He instead seemed confused […]

In the aftermath of the tragic mass shooting in Las Vegas that left 58 people dead, many lawmakers are now calling for stiffer gun control laws. House Speaker Paul Ryan(R-WI), who lives in an animal crate at NRA headquarters, spent several days awaiting instructions on how to manage the public outcry over the worst mass […]

After a hectic day of veiled insults and blunders in hurricane ravaged Puerto Rico, Congressional Republicans rushed through legislation that would muffle or suppress President Trump during public events. Much of America watched in horrific awe as the President bumbled through interviews and press conferences on his visit to San Juan, two weeks after the […]

In the immediate aftermath of the worst mass shooting in US history, Congressional Republicans responding by quickly passing a law allowing military grade landmines to be placed in playgrounds throughout the country. Though many are calling it a knee jerk reaction in a time of national mourning, Republicans argue it has been in works for […]