Amazon Sponsors Met Gala, Suggests Cheaper, Worse Version of Every Outfit on May 5, 2026May 5, 2026 Posted by Rachel Ortega
Trump Nominates Fox News Sound Guy as Commander of U.S. Strategic Command on May 1, 2026 Posted by Samantha White
SCOTUS Deems Witch-Burning Constitutional as Long as Accused Given Opportunity to Confess on April 30, 2026 Posted by Samantha White
Jack Smith Says Evidence Against Donald Trump So Extensive It May Need to Be Stored in a 90,000-Square-Foot Ballroom
Minnesota Labeled ‘Hostile Territory’ After Residents Demand Not to Be Executed by Masked Federal Agents
White House Unsure If Giving Misogynistic Internet Trolls With Micropenises Assault Rifles and Limitless Power Was “Strategically Sound”
Sources Say Trump Considering Nicki Minaj as New Fed Chair Because She ‘Talks Tough’ and ‘Knows Money’
Poll Finds Americans Aligned With Trump on Nation’s Biggest Concern: His Ballroom’s Gold-to-Marble Ratio
Americans Gather to Celebrate January 6th Holiday with Festive Window Smashing, Screaming at Paintings, and Annual Beating of Law Enforcement Officers with a Flag Pole
Tim Walz to Exit Politics Amid Controversy; Republicans Seek Out Candidate Controversial Enough to Take His Place
