Hegseth Says Future of American Warfare Lies in Returning to Whatever Worked Before Women Could Vote on September 3, 2026 Posted by Rachel Ortega
Hundreds of NASA Scientists Watch Silently as Trump Explains How Space Works on August 28, 2026 Posted by Sameer Wallace
New AI Facility Promises to Give Back to Community Once It Finishes Taking Everything on August 27, 2026 Posted by Sameer Wallace
White House Unsure If Giving Misogynistic Internet Trolls With Micropenises Assault Rifles and Limitless Power Was “Strategically Sound”
Sources Say Trump Considering Nicki Minaj as New Fed Chair Because She ‘Talks Tough’ and ‘Knows Money’
Poll Finds Americans Aligned With Trump on Nation’s Biggest Concern: His Ballroom’s Gold-to-Marble Ratio
Americans Gather to Celebrate January 6th Holiday with Festive Window Smashing, Screaming at Paintings, and Annual Beating of Law Enforcement Officers with a Flag Pole
Tim Walz to Exit Politics Amid Controversy; Republicans Seek Out Candidate Controversial Enough to Take His Place
Trump Insists He’s Mentally Fit After Mistaking a Reporter for His Childhood Imaginary Friend, ‘Blinky the Corn Angel’
Marco Rubio Says He Finally Gets What Americans Are Going Through, Announces Plan to Switch Government Font Back to Times New Roman
After Another Outburst, Trump Insists He Loves Women, Just Not When They’re Standing, Speaking, or Asking Questions
