Breaking News:
Monday, Apr 29, 2024
In an act of presidential benevolence and empathy, President Trump today honored the victims of the Las Vegas shooting with his new gold watch. This comes on the heels of the worst mass shooting in US history where at least 58 people lost their lives at a concert in Las Vegas. The perpetrator was believed […]
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White House Officials Worry They Are Doing it All Wrong After a very tumultuous week for the President, aides have attempted to undo some of his many miscalculations and off color comments by attempting to realign the reality star turned commander-in-chief. Starting with a Twitter war with NFL players and disparaging comments about the Mayor […]
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Spanish Government Places Beds and Couches in Public to Encourage Napping During Vote As tensions rise in Barcelona, the Spanish government has littered the streets with thousands of mattresses, couches, and eye masks in the hopes that Catalan protesters will sleep through a secession vote which Madrid deems illegal. Spaniards, famous for their midday “siestas”, […]
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White House Explains the Complexity of Recovering Balls Lost in Water Hazards Golfing one of his all-time worst games this week, President Trump ordered caddies to recover several balls that he had hit into various lakes and streams on his Bedminster, NJ club, instead of taking a stroke penalty. Irritated by the “fake news” stories […]
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Members of Trumps Cabinet Charter SpaceX Flight to Privately Deal with Travel Scandal After revelations that five members of Trumps cabinet had been using millions of taxpayer dollars to travel to private vacation destinations, White House officials have brought up major concerns about leaks. Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke was the latest to join the growing […]
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Former Secretary of State Compromises State Secrets Having lost the presidential race due to her lax use of her private email, Hillary Clinton has managed to do the same to the accounts of several top White House aides. Reports have surfaced that top staffers including, but not limited to, Jared Kushner, Ivanka Trump, Gary Cohn, […]
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North Korean Dictator Condemns US Policing System Known for ruling with an iron fist, North Korean leader Kim Jung Un made a surprising move today by criticizing the frequency of police shootings in the US. While many believe this may have been a political move to reacquire President Trump’s attention, others hope it is a […]
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President Trump Grapples with Confusing Tax Stuff The possibility of a tangible achievement has bewildered President Trump, as he continues to tweet insults of NFL players and owners. While Republican leaders have been trying to push through a massive tax overhaul, Trump’s “Do Not Disturb” sign remains hung on the door of the Oval Office. […]
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Trump Continues to Criticize the NFL In a recent statement President Trump continued to drag out his spat with the NFL players and owners. “They have rules for everything: You can’t dance in the end zone. You can’t wear the pink socks, relative to breast cancer…They have rules for everything. Why aren’t they honoring this country […]
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After months of speculation, son-in-law of president Trump Jared Kushner, has finally been outed as a woman. It was recently revealed from her New York voter registration, that for the past 8 years, Kushner has identified herself as a woman. Always the quiet, delicate, demure woman behind the president, Kushner barely spoke publicly for the […]
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Puerto Rico Faces Humanitarian Disaster A week after Hurricane Maria wreaked havoc on the shores of Puerto Rico, aid has still not arrived. With nearly 3 million American citizens without power, basic necessities like food, fuel and water have grown scarce. President Trump and FEMA have faced criticism for their slow response. While Trump’s visit […]
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Far-right Claims 94 Seats in German Parliament Germany’s AfD party took 12.6% of votes in elections on Monday, marking the first time the young party has garnered significant public support in its four year history. The AfD focuses on anti-immigration, nationalism, and anti-Islamisation policy. The demographic of those who voted for the party mirrored many […]
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President Trump Claims He’s Not That Busy Facing criticism for his attacks on professional black athletes, President Trump claimed his has “plenty of time on my(tiny) hands”. Considering the small area of his hands, this would mean there are very few matters to attend to beyond insulting the mothers of NFL players and breaking up […]
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Kim Jong Un Out Vocabulates Trump In a surprisingly lucid video statement, North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un criticized US president Donald Trump for his recent verbal attacks on his country while addressing the United Nations on Thursday, in which Trump called for Kim to step down or be “completely destroyed” by the US. While […]
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