Amazon Sponsors Met Gala, Suggests Cheaper, Worse Version of Every Outfit on May 5, 2026May 5, 2026 Posted by Rachel Ortega
Trump Nominates Fox News Sound Guy as Commander of U.S. Strategic Command on May 1, 2026 Posted by Samantha White
SCOTUS Deems Witch-Burning Constitutional as Long as Accused Given Opportunity to Confess on April 30, 2026 Posted by Samantha White
As Gas Prices Surge, Trump Says Americans Should Look Into Electric Golf Carts Like the One He’s Driving
Officials Say Barron Trump Must Remain Stateside to Retrieve the Folder Labeled “Other People’s Kids”
Trump Vows to Ramble Incoherently On All Topics Unrelated to the State or the Union in Historic State of the Union Address
Administration Desperately Seeking New Ways to Cripple U.S. Economy After SCOTUS Rules Against Tariffs
RFK Jr. and Kid Rock Announce Bipartisan Fitness Initiative After Ripping Rails off Toilet Seats in Matching Denim Gym Suits
Lutnick Admits He Visited Epstein’s Pedophile Island, but Only Because the Lunch Buffet Was Too Good to Pass Up
FBI Raids Georgia Election Office After Anonymous Tip From Guy Who “Knows More About Elections Than Anyone”
Trump Administration Removes Thousands of Hardened Criminals From Minnesota, Will Redeploy Them in Other Blue Cities
DOJ Recommends Americans Protest Quietly at Home to Minimize Risk of Execution(Unless ICE Kicks in the Door Without a Warrant)
