Breaking News:
Friday, May 17, 2024
After yet another mass shooting that left 17 people dead in a Florida high school, GOP leaders are scrambling for solutions to this ongoing crisis. With more questions that answers, some Republican leaders believe that telepaths with the ability to predict gun violence may offer the best solution to the problem. “We’ve got to confront […]
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After decades of fruitless attempts, the Philadelphia Eagles brought home their first ever Superbowl Championship by upsetting the heavily favored New England Patriots in Superbowl LII. To celebrate the unprecedented victory, Philadelphia citizens took to the streets and destroyed the “City of Brotherly Love” in a show of unbridled enthusiasm and kinship. Long known as […]
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WASHINGTON, DC — As immigration continues to be a hotly debated policy issue, president Trump has signaled he may be willing to negotiate with Democrats. Yesterday, after much back and forth, Trump released a statement with his “final solution” to the ongoing talks. The White House has offered a set of guidelines that would allow […]
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Shortly after sending an order prohibiting the use of certain words to the CDC budget office, the White House sent a similar note to the National Archives in Washington, DC with a list of words that must be omitted from the US Constitution. The list consists of 12 words that are no longer recognized by […]
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The White House appears to have a fascist problem. Work orders obtained by NBC reveal complaints about tyrants and vermin scurrying about in the White House Situation Room and the fast food mess, the executive restaurant run by McDonalds. Elsewhere, the presidential kitchen was reported to have been infested with authoritarian despots, while spineless yes men […]
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Senate Republicans passed their first legislative achievement in nearly a year last night by a slim 51-49 margin. The major tax overhaul touted by President Trump as “big big savings for the plumbers, the carpenters, the cops, the teachers, the truck drivers, the pipe fitters. The people that like me best” was quickly pushed through […]
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In a speech meant to promote the new GOP tax plan, President Trump clarified that he is, in fact, middle class. In his speech in St. Charles, Missouri, Trump claimed the tax plan, which will gouge the middle class while pouring money back into the pockets of the wealthy, would hurt his tax bracket. Trump […]
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After a seemingly endless stream of high profile firings over sexual harassment accusations, many are starting to worry these may not be 200-300 isolated incidents. Matt Lauer’s dismissal from NBC is the latest in a long string of allegations leveled at men in positions of power. Lauer, like fellow news anchors Bill O’Reilly and Charlie Rose, […]
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After pardoning them yesterday, President Trump demanded gratitude from turkeys Drumstick and Wishbone. The Presidential Turkey Pardon is an annual event held on the White House Rose Garden, in which the president offers clemency to a pair of lucky would be dinner centerpieces. Last year. Obama chose Tater and Tot, whose pardon Trump attempted to […]
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Newly uncovered video reveals former sports broadcaster Leeann Tweeden calling two male guests ‘gay’ after watching them walk on their hands for an on air segment. The shocking footage calls to question the kind of behavior Tweeden deemed acceptable during her time as a sportcaster and comedian. The comment speaks to the culture in which […]
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New research shows that men no longer serve a positive purpose for the human race. This comes after it has become increasingly clear that every male producer, actor, politician, teacher, lawyer, president, TV host, or other member of society is either a child molester, mass shooter, sexual predator, war monger, or just a complete moron. […]
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With the increasing demand for superhero movies, Universal has finally created a movie where every single character has super powers. The new movie titled, “The Fantastic 5000”, features nearly every hero from the Marvel universe filling all roles no matter how big or small. “It was hard to come up with a script where every […]
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Yesterday, NRA head Wayne LaPierre approved legislation to ban churches in the US. Although the bill still needs to pass the House and Senate, LaPierre’s go ahead eliminates of the greatest hurdle for congressional Republicans. This comes in the aftermath of the worst church shooting in US history which left 26 people dead, in Sutherland […]
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A mass shooting rocked the small Texas town of Sutherland Springs this week as local residents were attending church. While the motive remains unclear, Republicans are certain that guns had nothing to do with the bullets that killed 25 people and an unborn baby. The second mass shooting in a little over a month has […]
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White House Press Secretary and master bullshit artist Sarah Huckabee Sanders has talked her way out of yet another speeding ticket. According to police records, this would mark the 29th time the has talked her way out of a moving violation. In video captured by several police cameras, Huckabee Sanders was seen going over 100mph […]
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President Trump’s recent pick as head scientist for the USDA has many farmers fearing for the stability of the US food supply. Sam Clovis is a far right radio host from Iowa with no qualifications for the position which requires expertise in science and agriculture. In fact, as a climate change denier, Clovis could radically […]
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A recent poll found that very few people know who Adolf Hitler is because they are not constantly reminded of him by monuments in public parks and political grounds. This is startling affirmation of what many in the Trump administration have been saying about the removal of Confederate statues in the United States. Chief of […]
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In anticipation of a long list of federal indictments filed against the president and his associates, Trump Entertainment Resorts(TER) has opened its first private prison in central Long Island. Although not formally approved by the president himself, TER head Robert Griffin purchased the facility in an effort to expand the reach of the Trump brand. […]
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In an effort to revitalize their sagging careers, many former celebrities are turning to Fox News for renewed relevance. Over the years, B-actors and former stars have identified conservative talking points that can pull them from the shadows and back into the national spotlight. One of the most effective strategies has been a simple endorsement […]
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