Trump Demands Turkeys Thank Him for Pardon

After pardoning them yesterday, President Trump demanded gratitude from turkeys Drumstick and Wishbone.

The Presidential Turkey Pardon is an annual event held on the White House Rose Garden, in which the president offers clemency to a pair of lucky would be dinner centerpieces.

Last year. Obama chose Tater and Tot, whose pardon Trump attempted to overturn, but was thwarted by White House counsel.  When mentioning this in his speech, many in the press chuckled assuming it was a joke, but Trump just stared blankly, not understanding why they were laughing.

Today, Trump was furious when he was notified that Drumstick and Wishbone had left for “Gobbler’s Rest” without publicly thanking the president. A spokesperson for the turkeys said, “What the fuck are you talking about?” as they were loaded into the trailer.

“Presidential pardon’s are a big deal. I don’t think Dumbstick and Dickbone understand that. Very sad. Should have eaten them both for Thanksgiving.” Trump said in a written statement.

Drumstick and Wishbone have never exhibited any racist behavior and have never worked for the president, so they do not fit the profile of a standard Trump pardon.

The White House says because of the pardoning debacle, Trump wants to invite Drumstick and Wishbone back to the Rose Garden for a Thanksgiving turkey shoot next year.