Penises Proving to Be Inappropriate for the Work Place

After a seemingly endless stream of high profile firings over sexual harassment accusations, many are starting to worry these may not be 200-300 isolated incidents.

Matt Lauer’s dismissal from NBC is the latest in a long string of allegations leveled at men in positions of power. Lauer, like fellow news anchors Bill O’Reilly and Charlie Rose, was accused of repeated harassment of female coworkers.

“You can’t spell ‘News’ without a few ‘Ews’,” O’Reilly memorably said after being fired by Fox News for his 19th allegation.

Experts worry this disturbing trend may not end anytime soon. From Hollywood to Washington, it seems no man in a position of power is immune. Some have even argued that penises are unsuitable for the modern workplace environment.

“If you look at any of Lauer’s interviews with women, you can tell he isn’t listening to a word they’re saying,” one behavioral psychologist noted, “All he’s thinking about is having sex with them.”

As the wave of accusations sweeps across Washington, many Democrats are stepping down while Republicans are emboldened and rewarded for their rape and assaults accusations.

“It seems that any time you mix power and a penis, it’s just a ticking time bomb,” stated women’s rights attorney Gloria Allred who represents some of the women accusing Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore of rape and pedophilia, “It’s almost as if everything men do and think about revolves around sex.”