FIFA Shocked to Learn International Fans Unwilling to Spend $4,000 to Be Harassed for Their Papers on June 10, 2026 Posted by Sameer Wallace
RFK Jr. Defends Snacking on Buckets of Screwworms During CDC Briefing on June 8, 2026 Posted by Samantha White
Trump Moves NBA Finals to White House Court So He Doesn’t Have to Leave Couch on June 5, 2026 Posted by Sameer Wallace
Trump Mental Health Concerns Grow After Displaying Penis Size Comparison Chart of Perceived Enemies in Presser on June 4, 2026 Posted by Samantha White
Trump Administration Removes Thousands of Hardened Criminals From Minnesota, Will Redeploy Them in Other Blue Cities
DOJ Recommends Americans Protest Quietly at Home to Minimize Risk of Execution(Unless ICE Kicks in the Door Without a Warrant)
Minnesota Labeled ‘Hostile Territory’ After Residents Demand Not to Be Executed by Masked Federal Agents
White House Unsure If Giving Misogynistic Internet Trolls With Micropenises Assault Rifles and Limitless Power Was “Strategically Sound”
Trump Praises Anti-Authoritarian Protests Overseas, Reminds Americans That Protesting at Home is Punishable by Death
