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Saturday, Dec 21, 2024
White House Explains the Complexity of Recovering Balls Lost in Water Hazards Golfing one of his all-time worst games this week, President Trump ordered caddies to recover several balls that he had hit into various lakes and streams on his Bedminster, NJ club, instead of taking a stroke penalty. Irritated by the “fake news” stories […]
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OJ Plans to Focus on “Friends, Family, and Golf” In an alarming statement before his upcoming parole from a Nevada prison, OJ Simpson threatened to murder his friends and family with golf clubs upon his release. Famous for playing professional football and murdering his ex-wife and her then boyfriend, OJ has spent the last nine […]
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Nearly 1/3 of Viewers Say They Plan to Boycott League President Trump has successfully made the NFL a symbol of anti-American sentiment. Although player’s kneeling for the national anthem was a show of unity and protest against police brutality, Trump has spun it into a show of disrespect and hatred for the armed forces. This […]
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Members of Trumps Cabinet Charter SpaceX Flight to Privately Deal with Travel Scandal After revelations that five members of Trumps cabinet had been using millions of taxpayer dollars to travel to private vacation destinations, White House officials have brought up major concerns about leaks. Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke was the latest to join the growing […]
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Former Secretary of State Compromises State Secrets Having lost the presidential race due to her lax use of her private email, Hillary Clinton has managed to do the same to the accounts of several top White House aides. Reports have surfaced that top staffers including, but not limited to, Jared Kushner, Ivanka Trump, Gary Cohn, […]
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North Korean Dictator Condemns US Policing System Known for ruling with an iron fist, North Korean leader Kim Jung Un made a surprising move today by criticizing the frequency of police shootings in the US. While many believe this may have been a political move to reacquire President Trump’s attention, others hope it is a […]
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President Trump Grapples with Confusing Tax Stuff The possibility of a tangible achievement has bewildered President Trump, as he continues to tweet insults of NFL players and owners. While Republican leaders have been trying to push through a massive tax overhaul, Trump’s “Do Not Disturb” sign remains hung on the door of the Oval Office. […]
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Social Media Giant Plans to Crack Down on “Fake News” In light of recent revelations that Russian operatives used Facebook advertising to disseminate false information about candidate Hillary Clinton, Facebook has decided to begin monitoring “fake news”. Although many Trump supporters themselves call this move “fake news”, several have already found themselves banned for 24 […]
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Desperate Airline Struggles to Keep Up with Demand In a surprise move, Ryanair announced it would be upgrading first class passengers to the pilot’s chair in an effort to prevent further cancellations. This marks the first time an airline has allowed passengers to pilot an aircraft and only the second time passengers have refused upgrades. […]
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Trump Continues to Criticize the NFL In a recent statement President Trump continued to drag out his spat with the NFL players and owners. “They have rules for everything: You can’t dance in the end zone. You can’t wear the pink socks, relative to breast cancer…They have rules for everything. Why aren’t they honoring this country […]
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Hugh Hefner Dies at 91 With a HUGE Smile on His Face Playboy founder and media mogul Hugh Hefner died last night in the Playboy mansion. Hefner survived three marriages, nightly sex with half of Los Angeles, and massive amounts of drugs and alcohol for over half of his 91 years. Although admitting to have […]
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After months of speculation, son-in-law of president Trump Jared Kushner, has finally been outed as a woman. It was recently revealed from her New York voter registration, that for the past 8 years, Kushner has identified herself as a woman. Always the quiet, delicate, demure woman behind the president, Kushner barely spoke publicly for the […]
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Puerto Rico Faces Humanitarian Disaster A week after Hurricane Maria wreaked havoc on the shores of Puerto Rico, aid has still not arrived. With nearly 3 million American citizens without power, basic necessities like food, fuel and water have grown scarce. President Trump and FEMA have faced criticism for their slow response. While Trump’s visit […]
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Game of Thrones Ready to Spend Big Costs for each of the final episodes of HBO’s hit series Game of Thrones are estimated to top $15 million…EACH! With the soaring investment in scripted television, Game of Thrones has set the new mark for a 60 minute(hopefully a bit more) episode. Several years ago, the thought […]
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Far-right Claims 94 Seats in German Parliament Germany’s AfD party took 12.6% of votes in elections on Monday, marking the first time the young party has garnered significant public support in its four year history. The AfD focuses on anti-immigration, nationalism, and anti-Islamisation policy. The demographic of those who voted for the party mirrored many […]
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Conservatives Just Can’t Understand NFL Actions After several days of discussion, conservatives still cannot understand why NFL players and owners locked arms and kneeled during the national anthem. In fact, many conservative pundits still insist that the purpose was the exact opposite of its actual meaning. Fox News has stated the actions were “divisive” and […]
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President Trump Claims He’s Not That Busy Facing criticism for his attacks on professional black athletes, President Trump claimed his has “plenty of time on my(tiny) hands”. Considering the small area of his hands, this would mean there are very few matters to attend to beyond insulting the mothers of NFL players and breaking up […]
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Kim Jong Un Out Vocabulates Trump In a surprisingly lucid video statement, North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un criticized US president Donald Trump for his recent verbal attacks on his country while addressing the United Nations on Thursday, in which Trump called for Kim to step down or be “completely destroyed” by the US. While […]
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