NFL Successfully Purges Stupid Fans

Nearly 1/3 of Viewers Say They Plan to Boycott League

President Trump has successfully made the NFL a symbol of anti-American sentiment. Although player’s kneeling for the national anthem was a show of unity and protest against police brutality, Trump has spun it into a show of disrespect and hatred for the armed forces. This kind of political wizardry is something Trump has displayed throughout his short political career. With a single wave of his magic golf club, his supporters respond and react with fierce vitriol to anyone who opposes their views.

A billionaire raised by millionaires in New York City, Trump has become the voice of poor, rural America.

And these American’s will not watch a sport where people protest when they should be entertaining. Although many military servicemen and women have come out in support of the right to protest saying it is exactly what they fought for, a large swath of America remains unconvinced.

Instagram user @thebull6903 commented “Good hopefully they go bankrupt, now they stand bullshit too late, we are at the brink of war,with n Korea and these anti American racist disrespect our flag we must continue to boycott the N F L!!!!!!!our president always proves he’s right!!!” followed by several American flag emojis.

“Breitbart News” claims tickets sales have plummeted 18% since Trump’s call to protest people who protest.

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is not worried. “I don’t think we will miss them. If these people can’t understand the reason behind the protest, then they probably have a hard time understanding the scoreboard.”

As the issue was successfully spun by President Trump to stoke the fury of his base, Trump now celebrates the failure of business instead of promoting it, one of his more common campaign promises. The NFL currently provides jobs for roughly 60,000 people.