Breaking News:
Tuesday, Dec 3, 2024
EL PASO, TX — As the fight for Trump’s concrete US border wall intensifies, the current invisible wall has continued to quietly repel dozens of criminal pantomines attempting to illegally enter the country. Customs and border surveillance cameras have captured numerous bands of the silent invaders, dressed in striped black and white tights, met by […]
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ORLANDO, FL — President Trump kicked off his 2020 re-election campaign this week with many of the same messages he used in 2016. In fact, entire sections of his Orlando speech appeared to be pulled directly from campaign speeches four years ago. But the centerpiece of his rambling, conspiracy theory ridden, monologue was Democrats intolerance […]
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BEIJING, CHINA — As Trump’s trade war with China escalates, a White House in chaos in examining any option to end the conflict without appearing weak. On Monday, Trump threatened to begin opening and bankrupting Trump-branded businesses in China, a move that has could potentially cost the Chinese billions. After a New York Times article […]
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WASHINGTON, DC — The job numbers are in and former president Obama’s economy remains impressive. As economic trends from his administration continue their upward movement, the ex-president has admitted he may not be able to sustain the momentum much longer. While President Trump has spent his first two years in office making every attempt to […]
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WASHINGTON, DC — In an ironic twist of fate, President Trump’s own immigration policy is leading to mass vacancies in his administration. After over two years in office, over 40% of the administration’s key leadership positions remain unfilled. Historically, immigrant laborers have been used to fill positions no American will take, but because of his […]
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YELLOWSTONE, WY — Embattled Department of Homeland Security head Kirstjen Nielsen was spared the red leash and released into Yellowstone National Park today. After a tumultuous two years as the department head, White House officials flew her inside her travel crate, to the Wyoming sanctuary where officials say there is a slight chance she will […]
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Days after the much anticipated completion of the Mueller report, newly appointed Attorney General Bill Barr has released a summary of the investigation’s conclusions in the form of a hastily compiled one-page note. Representatives for the Justice Department have assured the public that every letter on the note was cut directly from […]
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BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA — As the G20 Summit draws to a close, the closing dance often generates the most excitement among the leaders of the world’s twenty most powerful nations. With no scheduled meetings, dignitaries are free to mingle and chat without an agenda or time crunch while snacking on an international cultural buffet and […]
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NEW YORK, NY — In an apparent response to Nike’s surprise endorsement of former NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick, Adidas inked a last minute endorsement deal with President Trump. This comes on the heels of nationwide protests by citizens who consider Kaepernick “Unamerican” for his peaceful protests against racial inequality and police brutality. This has led […]
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WASHINGTON, DC — As immigration continues to be a hotly debated policy issue, president Trump has signaled he may be willing to negotiate with Democrats. Yesterday, after much back and forth, Trump released a statement with his “final solution” to the ongoing talks. The White House has offered a set of guidelines that would allow […]
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