Breaking News:
Friday, Apr 11, 2025
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump yesterday ordered two Army combat divisions to take and hold the five largest umbrella factories in the country. Although this marks the first time a sitting US president has sent troops to a privately held domestic commercial operation, few were surprised by the president’s impulsive maneuver. Insiders say the president […]
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JUAREZ, MEXICO – When Carla Martinez decided to cross into El Paso Texas with her two children, she was seeking an opportunity for higher paying work. They packed up a backpack and filled two jugs of water and waded into the Rio Grande. In the late hours of the night, they were intercepted by six […]
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MINNEAPOLIS, MN – As the migrant caravan of Central American refugees has been grabbing headlines, a similar but much less publicized group of American migrants has quietly been making headway towards the Canadian border. The group, primarily made up of scientists, medical professionals, Constitutional lawyers, economists, and teachers, has made its way to within a […]
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NEW YORK, NY – As the mid term elections draw near, a new Pew poll has found that better than 4 of 5 people who breath exclusively from their mouths support Republican candidates throughout the country. Pew conducted the survey in all 50 states and is the first of its kind to examine a corollary […]
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ISTANBUL, TURKEY — As questions regarding the fate of international journalist Jamal Khashoggi mount, Saudi Arabia continues to deny any involvement in his disappearance. Mr. Khashoggi, who has been critical of the Saudi government, was last seen entering to Saudi Consulate in Istanbul on October 2nd to apply for a marriage license, but surveillance footage […]
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — For weeks, an ongoing mystery has been baffling White House staffers. Every few days, President Trump’s crayon box has had to be replaced because countless colors have gone missing. This has reportedly infuriated the President, who has become increasingly suspicious of his staff, and disrupted work on his biographical coloring book. “The […]
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — The highest ranking non-white member of the Trump Administration has stepped down from her position as United Nations ambassador. After 19 months, Nikki Haley has resigned from her position as one of the nations top diplomats. Born Nimrata Randhawa to Sikh immigrants, Nikki Haley made every attempt to assimilate into white culture in […]
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AFRICA — While on a glamorous $25 million, four-country photoshoot tour in some of the most beautiful backdrops in Africa, First Lady Melania Trump may have finally completed her ongoing search for the fabled Lost Ark of the Covenant. Melania’s quest began when White House Chief of Staff John Kelly sat her in front of a […]
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an apparent victory lap after the confirmation of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court, Senator Mitch McConnell (R-SC) was photographed bathing in the tears of protestors distressed by the collapse of American democracy. During the protests, many had questioned why McConnell staffers were out collecting the tears of survivors of sexual […]
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Details of the White House’s order for the FBI to investigate sexual assault allegations against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh have revealed limits to the scope of the investigation. The White House has reportedly told the Bureau to ”…only investigate matters which have already been proven to be true.” President Trump also […]
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Republican strategists have been facing increased difficulties as they attempt to find under qualified sexual predators to fill vacancies in elections across the country. This comes as Representative Jim Knoblach (R-MN) becomes the latest, in a string of Republican sexual predators, to abandon his bid for re-election after allegations of sexual misconduct were raised. By […]
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — In response to Bob Woodward’s new tell all book “Fear: Trump in the White House”, President Trump has followed through on his Twitter threat write on his own book. Trump promises to reveal the real truth behind his time in the White House in a 12-page picture book which he will dictate to […]
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NEW YORK, NY — In an apparent response to Nike’s surprise endorsement of former NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick, Adidas inked a last minute endorsement deal with President Trump. This comes on the heels of nationwide protests by citizens who consider Kaepernick “Unamerican” for his peaceful protests against racial inequality and police brutality. This has led […]
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In a stunning display of generosity, Russia has offered to provide free accommodations to all family members of World Cup stars for the duration of their time in the tournament. The wives and children of some of the world’s most accomplished players will be kept in luxury accommodations at undisclosed locations throughout Russia. Argentinian star […]
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Yes, the conservatives are winning. And the news is only going to get worse. Protesting, Mueller, and the impotent democratic leadership can’t save you now. With his announcement that he will be stepping down after 30 years as the semi-rational swing Justice and an increasingly conservative Supreme Court, Justice Anthony Kennedy has set the stage […]
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In recent weeks, controversial Pro-AIDS lobby AIDSNOW has recently ramped up efforts to gain favor with many vulnerable Congressional Republicans in the run up to this year’s mid-term elections. FEC filings have revealed over $30 million in donations being poured into races across the country. In recent years, AIDS has been pushed to the brink […]
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In her latest spewing of angry vitriol, Fox News screaming head Tomi Lahren lashed out at Palestinians for protesting the opening of the US embassy in Israel. On her instagram story, Lahren called the Palestinians “cry babies” after nearly 50 of them were killed in clashes with the Israeli military. Well known for her long […]
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Hawaiian tourists have suffered through nearly a week of disrupted nature tours due to the explosion of the Kilauea Volcano on Hawaii’s Big Island. As lava flows have cut off several of the islands most popular trails, many hikers are desperately trying not to allow it to ruin their vacation. “We came here for the […]
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It’s not just governance, international relations, social issues, and global standing as a whole that are plaguing the US, it’s also the Winter Olympic medal count. America’s international standing has suffered immensely since electing a reality star president, and the trend seems to continue in the global competition. After finishing first or second in medal […]
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