Amazon Sponsors Met Gala, Suggests Cheaper, Worse Version of Every Outfit on May 5, 2026May 5, 2026 Posted by Rachel Ortega
Trump Nominates Fox News Sound Guy as Commander of U.S. Strategic Command on May 1, 2026 Posted by Samantha White
SCOTUS Deems Witch-Burning Constitutional as Long as Accused Given Opportunity to Confess on April 30, 2026 Posted by Samantha White
World’s Billionaires Retreat to Heavily Guarded Alpine Fortress to Ask Why Everything Feels So Divided
Minnesota Labeled ‘Hostile Territory’ After Residents Demand Not to Be Executed by Masked Federal Agents
White House Unsure If Giving Misogynistic Internet Trolls With Micropenises Assault Rifles and Limitless Power Was “Strategically Sound”
Sources Say Trump Considering Nicki Minaj as New Fed Chair Because She ‘Talks Tough’ and ‘Knows Money’
Trump Praises Anti-Authoritarian Protests Overseas, Reminds Americans That Protesting at Home is Punishable by Death
Poll Finds Americans Aligned With Trump on Nation’s Biggest Concern: His Ballroom’s Gold-to-Marble Ratio
Trump Cites Time-Honored American Tradition of Stealing Land from Native People as Justification for Greenland Takeover
Americans Gather to Celebrate January 6th Holiday with Festive Window Smashing, Screaming at Paintings, and Annual Beating of Law Enforcement Officers with a Flag Pole
