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Infernal Heat Forces Both Great American State Fair Attendees to Head Home

Infernal Heat Forces Both Great American State Fair Attendees to Head Home

on July 3, 2026July 3, 2026
Posted by Samantha White
Corporate Donors Warn Mamdani Sweep Could Set Dangerous Precedent of Government Helping People

Corporate Donors Warn Mamdani Sweep Could Set Dangerous Precedent of Government Helping People

on June 24, 2026
Posted by Charlie Tread
White House Unveils New Plan to Refill Reflecting Pool with More Loyal Water

White House Unveils New Plan to Refill Reflecting Pool with More Loyal Water

on June 23, 2026
Posted by Samantha White
RFK Jr. Spotted Molting in Reflecting Pool Swamp

RFK Jr. Spotted Molting in Reflecting Pool Swamp

on June 16, 2026
Posted by Samantha White
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Month: October 2025

White House Unveils Plans for Champagne Fountain and Presidential DJ Booth

White House Unveils Plans for Champagne Fountain and Presidential DJ Booth

Musk Announces New Astronomy Subscription Plan: $9.99 a Month to See the Stars Satellite-Free

Musk Announces New Astronomy Subscription Plan: $9.99 a Month to See the Stars Satellite-Free

Budget Negotiators Reach Historic Deal: Everyone Gets Less and Still Calls It a Win

Budget Negotiators Reach Historic Deal: Everyone Gets Less and Still Calls It a Win

Parents Told “Costume Incomplete” Until Child Summons Five Choreographed Minions from the Nether Realm

Parents Told “Costume Incomplete” Until Child Summons Five Choreographed Minions from the Nether Realm

Company Holds Meeting to Discuss How to Have Fewer Meetings

Company Holds Meeting to Discuss How to Have Fewer Meetings

BREAKING: Shohei Ohtani Tests Negative for Human DNA

BREAKING: Shohei Ohtani Tests Negative for Human DNA

Taylor Swift Rumored to Be Working on Album Entirely About Ticketmaster

Taylor Swift Rumored to Be Working on Album Entirely About Ticketmaster

Global Economists Agree: It’s Fine, We’ll Just Print More Optimism

Global Economists Agree: It’s Fine, We’ll Just Print More Optimism

Baseball Analytics Team Announces They’ve Officially Replaced Joy with Data

Baseball Analytics Team Announces They’ve Officially Replaced Joy with Data

Hollywood Celebrates First Film Entirely Written, Directed, and Canceled by AI

Hollywood Celebrates First Film Entirely Written, Directed, and Canceled by AI

Chris Pine Cast as Chris Pratt in Upcoming Chris Evans Biopic

Chris Pine Cast as Chris Pratt in Upcoming Chris Evans Biopic

X Replaces ‘Like’ Button with ‘Hate’ Button

X Replaces ‘Like’ Button with ‘Hate’ Button

Billionaires Race to Save Themselves From Earth

Billionaires Race to Save Themselves From Earth

Apple Releases iLurk, the First Phone That Spies So You Don’t Have To

Apple Releases iLurk, the First Phone That Spies So You Don’t Have To

College Athletes Excited to Be Paid in Coupons for Their Own Jerseys

College Athletes Excited to Be Paid in Coupons for Their Own Jerseys

NFL Promises Safer Games by Replacing Tackles with Meaningful Eye Contact

NFL Promises Safer Games by Replacing Tackles with Meaningful Eye Contact

World Leaders Proud to Set Bold New Climate Goals for Whoever Comes Next

World Leaders Proud to Set Bold New Climate Goals for Whoever Comes Next

Migrant Caravan of Intellectuals Continue Push North to Canada

Migrant Caravan of Intellectuals Continue Push North to Canada

Tech Industry Announces Bold New Plan to Fix Problems It Created Last Week

Tech Industry Announces Bold New Plan to Fix Problems It Created Last Week

Congress Accidentally Solves Problem While Arguing About Who Caused It

Congress Accidentally Solves Problem While Arguing About Who Caused It

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  • Infernal Heat Forces Both Great American State Fair Attendees to Head Home
  • Corporate Donors Warn Mamdani Sweep Could Set Dangerous Precedent of Government Helping People
  • White House Unveils New Plan to Refill Reflecting Pool with More Loyal Water

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