New Iran Deal Allows Tankers to Round Up Toll Fees to Support Local Warlords on June 15, 2026 Posted by Rachel Ortega
SpaceX IPO Earns Musk Earns Title of Poorest Excuse for a Human Being on June 12, 2026 Posted by Sameer Wallace
FIFA Shocked to Learn International Fans Unwilling to Spend $4,000 to Be Harassed for Their Papers on June 10, 2026 Posted by Sameer Wallace
RFK Jr. Defends Snacking on Buckets of Screwworms During CDC Briefing on June 8, 2026 Posted by Samantha White
Jack Smith Says Evidence Against Donald Trump So Extensive It May Need to Be Stored in a 90,000-Square-Foot Ballroom
Minnesota Labeled ‘Hostile Territory’ After Residents Demand Not to Be Executed by Masked Federal Agents
Sources Say Trump Considering Nicki Minaj as New Fed Chair Because She ‘Talks Tough’ and ‘Knows Money’
Trump Praises Anti-Authoritarian Protests Overseas, Reminds Americans That Protesting at Home is Punishable by Death
Poll Finds Americans Aligned With Trump on Nation’s Biggest Concern: His Ballroom’s Gold-to-Marble Ratio
Trump Cites Time-Honored American Tradition of Stealing Land from Native People as Justification for Greenland Takeover
Trump Announces ‘Patriot Games’, Where Children Will Compete for Lower Gas Prices, Basic Healthcare, and Affordable Eggs
Trump Insists He’s Mentally Fit After Mistaking a Reporter for His Childhood Imaginary Friend, ‘Blinky the Corn Angel’
After Another Outburst, Trump Insists He Loves Women, Just Not When They’re Standing, Speaking, or Asking Questions
