SCOTUS Deems Witch-Burning Constitutional as Long as Accused Given Opportunity to Confess on April 30, 2026 Posted by Samantha White
DOJ Charges Comey With Look-Maxxing to Make Presidential Jawline Appear Weak on April 28, 2026 Posted by Samantha White
Poll Finds Lego Trump “More Grounded,” Mainly Because It Must Be Operated by a Child on April 23, 2026 Posted by Rachel Ortega
Minnesota Labeled ‘Hostile Territory’ After Residents Demand Not to Be Executed by Masked Federal Agents
Sources Say Trump Considering Nicki Minaj as New Fed Chair Because She ‘Talks Tough’ and ‘Knows Money’
Trump Praises Anti-Authoritarian Protests Overseas, Reminds Americans That Protesting at Home is Punishable by Death
Poll Finds Americans Aligned With Trump on Nation’s Biggest Concern: His Ballroom’s Gold-to-Marble Ratio
Trump Cites Time-Honored American Tradition of Stealing Land from Native People as Justification for Greenland Takeover
Trump Announces ‘Patriot Games’, Where Children Will Compete for Lower Gas Prices, Basic Healthcare, and Affordable Eggs
Trump Insists He’s Mentally Fit After Mistaking a Reporter for His Childhood Imaginary Friend, ‘Blinky the Corn Angel’
After Another Outburst, Trump Insists He Loves Women, Just Not When They’re Standing, Speaking, or Asking Questions
Hated by Liberals for Years, Marjorie Taylor Greene Suddenly Needs Security After Being Hated by MAGA for a Day
Trump Claims He Only Knew Epstein Socially, Biblically, Geographically, Financially, and Telepathically, But Not Personally
