SCOTUS Deems Witch-Burning Constitutional as Long as Accused Given Opportunity to Confess on April 30, 2026 Posted by Samantha White
DOJ Charges Comey With Look-Maxxing to Make Presidential Jawline Appear Weak on April 28, 2026 Posted by Samantha White
Poll Finds Lego Trump “More Grounded,” Mainly Because It Must Be Operated by a Child on April 23, 2026 Posted by Rachel Ortega
Tim Cook to Be Replaced by Near-Identical, More Expensive CEO with a Nicer Camera on April 22, 2026 Posted by Sameer Wallace
CNN Rebrands as “Conservative News Network,” Insists It’s Totally Unrelated to Right Wing Billionaire Takeover
Trump Vows to Ramble Incoherently On All Topics Unrelated to the State or the Union in Historic State of the Union Address
Administration Desperately Seeking New Ways to Cripple U.S. Economy After SCOTUS Rules Against Tariffs
Latest White House Distraction Backfires When Declassified Alien Visitors Start Asking About Epstein Files
Lutnick Admits He Visited Epstein’s Pedophile Island, but Only Because the Lunch Buffet Was Too Good to Pass Up
FBI Raids Georgia Election Office After Anonymous Tip From Guy Who “Knows More About Elections Than Anyone”
Jack Smith Says Evidence Against Donald Trump So Extensive It May Need to Be Stored in a 90,000-Square-Foot Ballroom
