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Bored Trump Asks Handlers When Visiting Schoolchildren Will be Thrown into the Octagon

Bored Trump Asks Handlers When Visiting Schoolchildren Will be Thrown into the Octagon

on May 6, 2026
Posted by Rachel Ortega
Amazon Sponsors Met Gala, Suggests Cheaper, Worse Version of Every Outfit

Amazon Sponsors Met Gala, Suggests Cheaper, Worse Version of Every Outfit

on May 5, 2026May 5, 2026
Posted by Rachel Ortega
Trump Nominates Fox News Sound Guy as Commander of U.S. Strategic Command

Trump Nominates Fox News Sound Guy as Commander of U.S. Strategic Command

on May 1, 2026
Posted by Samantha White
Erika Kirk Pulls Off Daring Mid-Heist Podcast

Erika Kirk Pulls Off Daring Mid-Heist Podcast

on April 30, 2026
Posted by Rachel Ortega
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Gavin Newsom Announces New Role as President of America’s Functioning Half

Gavin Newsom Announces New Role as President of America’s Functioning Half

Meta Introduces “Verified Scam” Badge to Streamline Fraud Process

Meta Introduces “Verified Scam” Badge to Streamline Fraud Process

RFK Jr. Urges Americans to Prepare for Flu Season by Burning Sage and the CDC’s Official Guidelines

RFK Jr. Urges Americans to Prepare for Flu Season by Burning Sage and the CDC’s Official Guidelines

Mike Johnson Blames Election Defeat on “Unfair Bias Toward Candidates Who Received Votes”

Mike Johnson Blames Election Defeat on “Unfair Bias Toward Candidates Who Received Votes”

Redrawn GOP Map Connects Every Republican Voter by One Long Driveway

Redrawn GOP Map Connects Every Republican Voter by One Long Driveway

Asshole Billionaires Threaten to Pack Up Their Shit and Ruin a Different City After Mamdani Elected

Asshole Billionaires Threaten to Pack Up Their Shit and Ruin a Different City After Mamdani Elected

Ghost of Dick Cheney Haunts Pentagon, Demands One Last War for Old Time’s Sake

Ghost of Dick Cheney Haunts Pentagon, Demands One Last War for Old Time’s Sake

Man Covered in “I Voted” Stickers Silently Judges Co-workers Who Haven’t Left the Office All Day

Man Covered in “I Voted” Stickers Silently Judges Co-workers Who Haven’t Left the Office All Day

Kennedy Center Perplexed by Lagging Ticket Sales After Audience Held Captive and Forced to Watch Apprentice Musical

Kennedy Center Perplexed by Lagging Ticket Sales After Audience Held Captive and Forced to Watch Apprentice Musical

Prince Andrew Stripped of Title, But Retains Sense of Entitlement

Prince Andrew Stripped of Title, But Retains Sense of Entitlement

After 25 Years in Orbit, ISS Finally Admits It’s Just Trying to Avoid the News Cycle

After 25 Years in Orbit, ISS Finally Admits It’s Just Trying to Avoid the News Cycle

Top 10 Ways to Adapt to Having No Government

Top 10 Ways to Adapt to Having No Government

Meteorologists Describe Hurricane Melissa McCarthy as “Loud, Unpredictable, and Full of Body Positivity”

Meteorologists Describe Hurricane Melissa McCarthy as “Loud, Unpredictable, and Full of Body Positivity”

White House Vows to Donate Ballroom’s Uneaten Hors d’Oeuvres to 42 Million Starving Americans

White House Vows to Donate Ballroom’s Uneaten Hors d’Oeuvres to 42 Million Starving Americans

Google Promises New Privacy Settings Will Keep Data Safe From Everyone Except Google

Google Promises New Privacy Settings Will Keep Data Safe From Everyone Except Google

Study Finds Clickbait Headlines Could Lead to the Collapse of Civilization

Study Finds Clickbait Headlines Could Lead to the Collapse of Civilization

Democrats Concerned Fetterman Keeps Referring to Them as “You People”

Democrats Concerned Fetterman Keeps Referring to Them as “You People”

Clint Eastwood Directs New Film About Character and Plot From Last Three Films

Clint Eastwood Directs New Film About Character and Plot From Last Three Films

Measles, Mumps, & Rubella Comeback Tour a Smashing Success

Measles, Mumps, & Rubella Comeback Tour a Smashing Success

Murderous Horde of Migrant Mimes Thwarted by Invisible Border Wall

Murderous Horde of Migrant Mimes Thwarted by Invisible Border Wall

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  • Bored Trump Asks Handlers When Visiting Schoolchildren Will be Thrown into the Octagon
  • Amazon Sponsors Met Gala, Suggests Cheaper, Worse Version of Every Outfit
  • Trump Nominates Fox News Sound Guy as Commander of U.S. Strategic Command

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