NEW YORK, NY — A new Quinnipiac poll has revealed what most New Yorkers already suspected: Zohran Mamdani has secured commanding leads among renters, cyclists, and residents who have recently shouted “I’m walkin’ here!” at a passing taxi.
According to analysts, these groups represent the city’s “core expressive electorate”—citizens whose daily survival depends on volume, motion, and a deep spiritual connection to jaywalking. “He really speaks to the shouting pedestrian experience,” said one political scientist, struggling to be heard over a cab horn.
Mamdani’s numbers among renters soared after he unveiled his “Stable Rent, Stable Soul” plan, which promises emotional support counselors for anyone whose landlord raises the rent by more than 50% in a single text. Among cyclists, his pledge to replace car lanes with “shared enlightenment corridors” has proven popular, though drivers remain unconvinced.
The most enthusiastic backing comes from the “I’m Walkin’ Here” demographic—a volatile voting bloc prone to spontaneous outbursts, aggressive gestures, and deep civic pride. “Finally, someone who understands that pedestrian rage is a love language,” said one supporter while knocking on campaign doors between red lights.
Critics argue the poll ignores key demographics such as “People Who’ve Given Up” and “Those Still Waiting for the MTA to Text Back.” But Mamdani’s campaign insists the energy is real. “He’s got the streets, the spokes, and the screams,” said a volunteer handing out pamphlets printed on recycled MetroCards.
Meanwhile, opposition candidates are scrambling to connect with New Yorkers who prefer muttering quietly on the sidewalk—an increasingly shrinking demographic.
As of press time, Mamdani was reportedly seen leading a crowd across Sixth Avenue during a red light, promising to “bring this city forward, one illegal crosswalk at a time.”
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