Unsourced News - Page 9 of 16 - Daily Satirical News, Politics, and Culture

White House Announces ‘Operation: Look Over There!’ Days Before Epstein Files Hit the Internet

Grok Update Adds Ability to Mansplain Even When No One Asked a Question

Trump Claims He Only Knew Epstein Socially, Biblically, Geographically, Financially, and Telepathically, But Not Personally

New 50-Year Mortgage Will Require Ritual Bloodletting, Infant Collateral Clause, and Presence of Licensed Bank Witch

Celebrities Rally Behind Climate Change With Limited-Edition, Gas-Powered Bracelets

Trump’s New Stimulus Plan Will Simply Entail Taxpayers Writing Themselves a $2,000 Check

Short-Staffed Airports Advise Pilots to Simply Follow the Trail of Burning Debris to Locate Runways

Democrats Secure Parking Validation and a Tote Bag in Historic Win for the Party

Protesters Discover PB&J More Effective Than Tuna Melts Against ICE Agents

Gavin Newsom Announces New Role as President of America’s Functioning Half

Meta Introduces “Verified Scam” Badge to Streamline Fraud Process

RFK Jr. Urges Americans to Prepare for Flu Season by Burning Sage and the CDC’s Official Guidelines

Mike Johnson Blames Election Defeat on “Unfair Bias Toward Candidates Who Received Votes”

Redrawn GOP Map Connects Every Republican Voter by One Long Driveway

Asshole Billionaires Threaten to Pack Up Their Shit and Ruin a Different City After Mamdani Elected

Ghost of Dick Cheney Haunts Pentagon, Demands One Last War for Old Time’s Sake

Man Covered in “I Voted” Stickers Silently Judges Co-workers Who Haven’t Left the Office All Day

Judge Orders Lively and Baldoni to Settle Dispute Through Dramatic Monologue in Rain

Kennedy Center Perplexed by Lagging Ticket Sales After Audience Held Captive and Forced to Watch Apprentice Musical

Study Finds 8 Out of 10 Home Helper Robots Still Can’t Tell Difference Between ‘Clean’ and ‘Set on Fire’