Unsourced News - Page 8 of 17 - Daily Satirical News, Politics, and Culture

Poll Finds Majority of Americans Think Boxing Day Celebrates Jake Paul’s Jaw Being Wired Shut

Christmas Confusion as DoJ Redacts Entirety of Santa’s Naughty List

Local Family’s Christmas Photo Captures Exact Moment Uncle Was Banned from Future Gatherings

White House Sources Say Trump Shocked to Learn Greenland Is Not, In Fact, Bigger Than Africa

CBS News to Drop “C” in Network Rebrand

Trump Announces ‘Patriot Games’, Where Children Will Compete for Lower Gas Prices, Basic Healthcare, and Affordable Eggs

Dr. Oz Says Making Testicles Still Significantly Easier Than Growing a Pair

CBS News Head Bari Weiss Set to Moderate Unbiased Town Hall Called “Why the Left Is Always Wrong”

James Cameron Says ‘Avatar: Fire and Ash’ Spent Extra $1 Billion “To Really Nail the Ferns”

City Hall Reports Strange Quiet After Mamdani Enacts “No Talking Above Whisper Level” Policy

Speaker Johnson Says Having Health Care Creates “Unrealistic Expectations” About Not Dying

White House Insists Epstein Files Will Be Released Right After They Wrap Up World War 3

NBA Says Fans Will Care About NBA Cup Once They Learn to Care About It

Pentagon Says Vaporized Fishing Boats Should Have Considered Not Being So Fishy

GOP Unveils New Health Plan That Covers Everything from Crowdfunding to Selling a Kidney on Etsy

Fans Say DraftKings Heisman Sponsorship “Crosses the Line,” Immediately Wager on Where the Line Is

Liam Neeson Threatens to “Find and Kill” Measles Virus with a Very Particular Set of Essential Oils

Global Shipping on Alert After US Navy Ships Spotted Flying Jolly Rogers and Demanding Tribute From Passing Vessels

Trump Insists He’s Mentally Fit After Mistaking a Reporter for His Childhood Imaginary Friend, ‘Blinky the Corn Angel’

Marco Rubio Says He Finally Gets What Americans Are Going Through, Announces Plan to Switch Government Font Back to Times New Roman