World Cup Welcome Packet to Include Phrasebook, Sunscreen, and Waiver for El Salvadoran Prison on December 6, 2025 Posted by Sameer Wallace
CDC Announces Newborns Can Replace Vaccines With “A Lap Around a Gas Station Bathroom” on December 5, 2025 Posted by Unsourced Newsroom
DoJ Realizes It Can’t Indict Letitia James Because It Fired Everyone Who Could Explain What a Crime Is on December 5, 2025 Posted by Samantha White
Netflix–WBD Assumes Total Control of Hollywood, Appoints Algorithm as Supreme Showrunner on December 5, 2025 Posted by Rachel Ortega
New 50-Year Mortgage Will Require Ritual Bloodletting, Infant Collateral Clause, and Presence of Licensed Bank Witch
Kennedy Center Perplexed by Lagging Ticket Sales After Audience Held Captive and Forced to Watch Apprentice Musical
Study Finds 8 Out of 10 Home Helper Robots Still Can’t Tell Difference Between ‘Clean’ and ‘Set on Fire’
