Breaking News:
Thursday, Nov 21, 2024
LORDSTOWN, OH — As automobile factory closures pile up in middle America, some Trump supporters are questioning the president’s claim on the campaign trail that, “If I’m elected, you won’t lose one plant, you’ll have plants coming into this country, you’re going to have jobs again, you won’t lose one plant, I promise you that.” […]
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SAN YSIDRO, CA — Despite his father’s objections, insiders report Barron Trump has continued his secret meetings with a Honduran asylum seeker at the US/Mexico border. First detailed in a bombshell New York Times story, Barron spent the last two months secretly escaping the White House and traveling to the San Ysidro border crossing to […]
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Tragedy struck last night shortly before the unveiling on Melania Trump’s White House Christmas decoration extravaganza, when an East Wing intern drowned in a holiday themed river of blood. Only minutes before initiating the Slovakian midnight winter sacrament, the intern was swept away by a festive red wave of animal parts. Often renowned for her […]
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CAMARILLO, CA — Romaine farmers throughout the country are feeling the pinch after all shipments of their leafy produce were halted when 32 people fell ill from E.coli poisoning. The FDA immediately issued an alert and recalled all possibly contaminated romaine lettuce after people from 11 different states reported symptoms including nausea and diarrhea. Desperate to maintain […]
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LOS ANGELES, CA — Over the holidays it came to his friends attention that Barry Palmer was having another psychotic break. Multiple social media posts outlining the planned Democratic takeover of the government by aging hippies set off alarms among those who still subscribed to his news feed. One of those most effected by Barry’s […]
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Over the past weeks, President Trump has become increasingly concerned with the ongoing Mueller investigation, often questioning the loyalty of even his closest advisors. Numerous reports have surfaced alleging the president has been speaking with top aides about the scope of his presidential pardon powers. Insiders claim the president became “obsessed” when […]
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LOS ANGELES, CA — After recently being outed for traveling inside a large suitcase to avoid paparazzi, Taylor Swift has become more forthcoming about her strange travel habit. On several recent flights, the megastar has unzipped herself from her travel sack and continued her trips from the luggage bin. As a result, an increasing number […]
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AUSTIN, TX — After a historic mid-term election that saw more votes cast than any other in American history, few surprises shaped the day. Of the victors, a disheveled Ted Cruz(R-TX) seemed the most relieved by his win in deep red Texas. Cruz, once considered a lock for re-election only a few months ago, had […]
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump yesterday ordered two Army combat divisions to take and hold the five largest umbrella factories in the country. Although this marks the first time a sitting US president has sent troops to a privately held domestic commercial operation, few were surprised by the president’s impulsive maneuver. Insiders say the president […]
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JUAREZ, MEXICO – When Carla Martinez decided to cross into El Paso Texas with her two children, she was seeking an opportunity for higher paying work. They packed up a backpack and filled two jugs of water and waded into the Rio Grande. In the late hours of the night, they were intercepted by six […]
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