SpaceX IPO Earns Musk Earns Title of Poorest Excuse for a Human Being on June 12, 2026 Posted by Sameer Wallace
FIFA Shocked to Learn International Fans Unwilling to Spend $4,000 to Be Harassed for Their Papers on June 10, 2026 Posted by Sameer Wallace
RFK Jr. Defends Snacking on Buckets of Screwworms During CDC Briefing on June 8, 2026 Posted by Samantha White
Trump Moves NBA Finals to White House Court So He Doesn’t Have to Leave Couch on June 5, 2026 Posted by Sameer Wallace
Global Shipping on Alert After US Navy Ships Spotted Flying Jolly Rogers and Demanding Tribute From Passing Vessels
Trump Insists He’s Mentally Fit After Mistaking a Reporter for His Childhood Imaginary Friend, ‘Blinky the Corn Angel’
Marco Rubio Says He Finally Gets What Americans Are Going Through, Announces Plan to Switch Government Font Back to Times New Roman
New Book “Franklin Goes to the Hague to Stand Trial for War Crimes” Helps Kids Navigate Big Feelings Like Sharing, Apologies, and Crimes Against Humanity
Luigi Mangione Cast in New Reality Show ‘Yeah, But Those Cheekbones’ That Asks Viewers to Decide Their Own Moral Framework
Sydney Sweeney Confirms Her Political Beliefs Are “Whatever Polls Best With People Who Still Go to Movie Theaters”
After Another Outburst, Trump Insists He Loves Women, Just Not When They’re Standing, Speaking, or Asking Questions
DoJ Realizes It Can’t Indict Letitia James Because It Fired Everyone Who Could Explain What a Crime Is
Eli Manning Hired as Ole Miss Head Coach, Promises to Bring “That Same Confused Calm” to the Sidelines
Melania Unveils This Years White House Christmas Decor: A Bare, Cold Corridor Symbolizing the Emptiness of the Human Soul
