Amazon Sponsors Met Gala, Suggests Cheaper, Worse Version of Every Outfit on May 5, 2026May 5, 2026 Posted by Rachel Ortega
Trump Nominates Fox News Sound Guy as Commander of U.S. Strategic Command on May 1, 2026 Posted by Samantha White
SCOTUS Deems Witch-Burning Constitutional as Long as Accused Given Opportunity to Confess on April 30, 2026 Posted by Samantha White
Global Shipping on Alert After US Navy Ships Spotted Flying Jolly Rogers and Demanding Tribute From Passing Vessels
Trump Insists He’s Mentally Fit After Mistaking a Reporter for His Childhood Imaginary Friend, ‘Blinky the Corn Angel’
Marco Rubio Says He Finally Gets What Americans Are Going Through, Announces Plan to Switch Government Font Back to Times New Roman
New Book “Franklin Goes to the Hague to Stand Trial for War Crimes” Helps Kids Navigate Big Feelings Like Sharing, Apologies, and Crimes Against Humanity
Luigi Mangione Cast in New Reality Show ‘Yeah, But Those Cheekbones’ That Asks Viewers to Decide Their Own Moral Framework
Sydney Sweeney Confirms Her Political Beliefs Are “Whatever Polls Best With People Who Still Go to Movie Theaters”
DoJ Realizes It Can’t Indict Letitia James Because It Fired Everyone Who Could Explain What a Crime Is
Eli Manning Hired as Ole Miss Head Coach, Promises to Bring “That Same Confused Calm” to the Sidelines
Melania Unveils This Years White House Christmas Decor: A Bare, Cold Corridor Symbolizing the Emptiness of the Human Soul
Polls Show Mamdani Most Popular Among Renters, Cyclists, and People Who’ve Yelled “I’m Walkin’ Here!” in the Last Month
