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SpaceX IPO Earns Musk Earns Title of Poorest Excuse for a Human Being

SpaceX IPO Earns Musk Earns Title of Poorest Excuse for a Human Being

on June 12, 2026
Posted by Sameer Wallace
FIFA Shocked to Learn International Fans Unwilling to Spend $4,000 to Be Harassed for Their Papers

FIFA Shocked to Learn International Fans Unwilling to Spend $4,000 to Be Harassed for Their Papers

on June 10, 2026
Posted by Sameer Wallace
RFK Jr. Defends Snacking on Buckets of Screwworms During CDC Briefing

RFK Jr. Defends Snacking on Buckets of Screwworms During CDC Briefing

on June 8, 2026
Posted by Samantha White
Trump Moves NBA Finals to White House Court So He Doesn’t Have to Leave Couch

Trump Moves NBA Finals to White House Court So He Doesn’t Have to Leave Couch

on June 5, 2026
Posted by Sameer Wallace
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Administration Ceases Iran Ceasefire While Negotiating Non-Negotiable Negotiation Terms

Administration Ceases Iran Ceasefire While Negotiating Non-Negotiable Negotiation Terms

Colbert’s Late Show to be Filled by Calm Voice Repeating ‘Everything Is Fine’ Until Sunrise

Colbert’s Late Show to be Filled by Calm Voice Repeating ‘Everything Is Fine’ Until Sunrise

Exhausted Public Collectively Agrees It Doesn’t Have Time to Give a Shit About Hantavirus

Exhausted Public Collectively Agrees It Doesn’t Have Time to Give a Shit About Hantavirus

Poll Finds Lego Trump “More Grounded,” Mainly Because It Must Be Operated by a Child

Poll Finds Lego Trump “More Grounded,” Mainly Because It Must Be Operated by a Child

“No More Mr. Nice Guy” Trump Sternly Declares In Ruffled Pink “Mrs. Nice Guy” Dress

“No More Mr. Nice Guy” Trump Sternly Declares In Ruffled Pink “Mrs. Nice Guy” Dress

White House Reporters Shocked as Trump Explains Entire Iran Strategy Using Only “Kaboom!”, “Pew Pew” and Hand Motions

White House Reporters Shocked as Trump Explains Entire Iran Strategy Using Only “Kaboom!”, “Pew Pew” and Hand Motions

Trump Offers Iran Nukes if They Reopen Strait of Hormuz

Trump Offers Iran Nukes if They Reopen Strait of Hormuz

Trump Pauses Plans for Nuclear War After Judge Halts Construction of His Underground Lair

Trump Pauses Plans for Nuclear War After Judge Halts Construction of His Underground Lair

Trump Signs Emergency Executive Order Making It Significantly Harder to Beat Him at Golf

Trump Signs Emergency Executive Order Making It Significantly Harder to Beat Him at Golf

Confused Kushner and Witkoff Spotted in LA’s Tehrangeles Neighborhood Demanding Peace Talks with “Whoever’s In Charge”

Confused Kushner and Witkoff Spotted in LA’s Tehrangeles Neighborhood Demanding Peace Talks with “Whoever’s In Charge”

Netanyahu and Putin Spend Pleasant Afternoon Moving U.S. Carrier Groups Around Map Like Risk Pieces

Netanyahu and Putin Spend Pleasant Afternoon Moving U.S. Carrier Groups Around Map Like Risk Pieces

Lindsey Graham Advocates for Total Destruction of Iran Along With Any Gay Sex Videos Israel Might Have of Him

Lindsey Graham Advocates for Total Destruction of Iran Along With Any Gay Sex Videos Israel Might Have of Him

Defense Department Says Strait of Hormuz Mines Are Clearly Marked by Floating Debris and Fire

Defense Department Says Strait of Hormuz Mines Are Clearly Marked by Floating Debris and Fire

Chugging Energy Drinks, Hegseth Warns Iran It’s About to Learn Why America Doesn’t Skip Leg Day

Chugging Energy Drinks, Hegseth Warns Iran It’s About to Learn Why America Doesn’t Skip Leg Day

As Gas Prices Surge, Trump Says Americans Should Look Into Electric Golf Carts Like the One He’s Driving

As Gas Prices Surge, Trump Says Americans Should Look Into Electric Golf Carts Like the One He’s Driving

Administration Confident Plan to Install Trump as Iran’s President Will Collapse Nation Within Months

Administration Confident Plan to Install Trump as Iran’s President Will Collapse Nation Within Months

Administration Debuts Spinning Wheel to Explain Why U.S. Is Bombing Iran Today

Administration Debuts Spinning Wheel to Explain Why U.S. Is Bombing Iran Today

Officials Say Barron Trump Must Remain Stateside to Retrieve the Folder Labeled “Other People’s Kids”

Officials Say Barron Trump Must Remain Stateside to Retrieve the Folder Labeled “Other People’s Kids”

Administration Says War in Iran Could End Quickly or Escalate Into Biden’s Fault

Administration Says War in Iran Could End Quickly or Escalate Into Biden’s Fault

“Just Be Patient” Says Guy Who Said He’d Fix Everyone’s Problems on Day 1

“Just Be Patient” Says Guy Who Said He’d Fix Everyone’s Problems on Day 1

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  • SpaceX IPO Earns Musk Earns Title of Poorest Excuse for a Human Being
  • FIFA Shocked to Learn International Fans Unwilling to Spend $4,000 to Be Harassed for Their Papers
  • RFK Jr. Defends Snacking on Buckets of Screwworms During CDC Briefing

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