SpaceX IPO Earns Musk Earns Title of Poorest Excuse for a Human Being on June 12, 2026 Posted by Sameer Wallace
FIFA Shocked to Learn International Fans Unwilling to Spend $4,000 to Be Harassed for Their Papers on June 10, 2026 Posted by Sameer Wallace
RFK Jr. Defends Snacking on Buckets of Screwworms During CDC Briefing on June 8, 2026 Posted by Samantha White
Trump Moves NBA Finals to White House Court So He Doesn’t Have to Leave Couch on June 5, 2026 Posted by Sameer Wallace
Local Diners Concerned After New Hooters Staff Replaces Kids’ Menu With “Character-Building Hardship”
Disney World Guests Alarmed by Childless 70-Year-Old Man Who Spent Entire Day Alone Waiting to Hug Animatronic Presidents
Staffers Avoiding White House Café After Hegseth Launches Extended Slam Poetry Series on Global Military Strategy
Confused Kushner and Witkoff Spotted in LA’s Tehrangeles Neighborhood Demanding Peace Talks with “Whoever’s In Charge”
Guy Who Asked “Is Duke Good?” 3 Days Ago Now Hosting Daily Strategy Meetings on NCAA Tournament Outlook
