TAMPA, FL — Customers across the country are expressing outrage after discovering the much-hyped Trump Phone appears to spend most of the day in “Sleep Mode,” a feature development representatives insist is “completely intentional” and “modeled directly after presidential behavior.”
The $1,799 gold-colored device, marketed as “the toughest phone ever made,” reportedly enters a dormant state shortly after breakfast and remains largely unresponsive until late evening cable news hours. Users claim alarms fail to sound, notifications disappear, and the screen displays only a rotating wallpaper reading “HARD AT WORK” over an image of a golf course.
“I tried to check my email at 11 a.m. and the phone just whispered ‘executive time’ before shutting off again,” said Tampa resident Carl Brenner. “Then around 8 p.m. it suddenly woke up and started posting angrily about windmills. It literally only works for 2 hours a day!”
Tech reviewers have described the device as “a catastrophic piece of shit,” citing a battery life of under two hours, a camera that automatically applies an orange tint to all photos, and a voice assistant that responds to every question with “many people are saying this.”
The launch has become a full-scale embarrassment for the Trump Organization after early buyers discovered the phone’s “Made in America” branding covered a smaller label reading “Components sourced from wherever was cheapest.” One teardown video revealed the device was largely constructed from recycled casino loyalty cards and what appeared to be melted-down Trump Steaks promotional material.
Despite the backlash, company spokespeople defended the phone’s sleep issues during a press conference Tuesday.
“The Trump Phone does more before noon than other phones do all day,” said one representative while unsuccessfully attempting to wake the device by repeatedly tapping it against a podium. “Frankly, the American people are tired of phones that are awake all the time.”
