WASHINGTON, DC — The White House today announced a groundbreaking new economic plan to address softening economic data: from now on, all data charts will be read upside down. The policy, dubbed the “Inverse Prosperity Initiative,” aims to reframe the nation’s economic outlook… by rotating it 180 degrees.
Speaking from the Oval Office, senior economic adviser Kevin Hassett described the policy as “a necessary response to challenging times.” “Look, traditional analysis has been giving us nothing but bad news,” he said, flipping a laminated GDP chart over like he was revealing a plot twist in a murder mystery. “By reading the charts upside down, we’ve discovered that what we once believed was a recession is actually a massive boom. Crisis? Nope. just an awkward graph.”
President Trump was quick to endorse the new approach, appearing beside a giant soaring graph labeled ‘Unemployment. “For years, the media has tried to spin numbers against us,” he declared. “Well, guess what? Two can play that game,” as he spun the chart upside down. “Look, I just created 10 million jobs.”
Sources confirm that the Federal Reserve has already begun testing the method, and reportedly found that inflation had been within target ranges if interpreted upside down and slightly sideways. One unnamed Fed official said the new policy was “like putting the entire economy in Stranger Things mode.”
Economists argue that reversing the orientation of economic indicators is not the same as addressing the indicators themselves. The administration disagrees. One senior strategist offered reassurance: “If you’ve got a line graph that’s crashing, just flip it. Congratulations, you’ve got growth. It’s simple optics. But for numbers.”
The Department of Labor is currently reformatting all employment reports. A leaked memo revealed that “negative job numbers look a lot like job gains if you squint and rotate the page.” Meanwhile, the Treasury Department has issued new guidelines allowing debt to be referred to as “reverse assets.”
While experts warn this is not how data works, the White House remains confident. “Sure, reality might not change,” said one official, “but people’s feelings about reality absolutely can. And isn’t that what economics is about?”
