Trump Distributes Marshmallows to Wildfire Victims

MENDOCINO, CA — Under heavy criticism for tweeting while the world literally burns, Trump made an unscheduled trip to central California to visit victims of the worst wildfires in decades. Ten lives have already been lost as thousands of residents have been forced to flee their homes to escape the aggressive blaze which has already destroyed 57,000 acres of land.

While it is still nearly two thousand deaths away from being considered a catastrophe, Trump felt his visit would be a good way to unite the people and promote his Napa Valley wineries.

During the trip, Trump stopped at his two Big Ass Grapes Winery to relax and greet fans. In an impromptu show of good will, Trump began distributing bags of marshmallows to the disheartened evacuees.

“I was just eating a bag of marshmallows and told my porter to give the rest of them to the people yelling under my balcony,” Trump explained, “And they started cheering so loud I couldn’t even hear myself not thinking.”

Said one local resident whose house was consumed by flames,”At first we didn’t understand why he would throw marshmallows at us, but when we opened them we realized they were some of the softest, most beautiful, velvety, jet puffed marshmallows we had ever eaten,” he stopped to feed marshmallows to his two children, “The guy cares.”

In his public statement, Trump thanked, “The first responders and the military for their efforts, as well as the military and the first responders.” Afterwards he stood in two minutes of silence saluting the flag.