Bone Spurs Will Prevent Trump from Visiting Korean DMZ

Today, the Trump administration announced the president would not visit the Korean Demilitarized Zone(DMZ) on his upcoming trip to Asia, citing sudden bone spur inflammation. The bone spurs have plagued Trump for decades, preventing him from confronting danger for most of his life.

Traditionally, US presidents have visited the DMZ as a symbolic gesture of their support for the South Korea government. The 2.5 mile stretch of land separates the North from the South and is considered one of the most heavily fortified borders in the world.

Asia has proven to trigger Trump’s ongoing battle with bone spurs, with five previous flare ups preventing him from military enlistment in the Vietnam War. The bone spurs in the back of Trump’s heels also prevent him from marching long distances which is the main reason he has spent nearly a quarter of his presidency in golf carts.

Skeptics believe the real reason behind opting out of both the DMZ and Vietnam is fear of bodily harm, but Trump is well-known for his bravery and fearlessness when attacking military senators, parents, and wives.

As the situation in the Korean Peninsula grows increasingly perilous, some place the blame on Trump for his continued attacks on North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. Many claim Trump is fearful of visiting the treacherous hotbed which he helped to create.

When previously asked if he would visit the DMZ, Trump replied “I’d rather not say, but you’ll be surprised,” leading many to believe that he would apologize and admit he was wrong about something.