In the immediate aftermath of the worst mass shooting in US history, Congressional Republicans responding by quickly passing a law allowing military grade landmines to be placed in playgrounds throughout the country. Though many are calling it a knee jerk reaction in a time of national mourning, Republicans argue it has been in works for some time and the shooting was a good opportunity to push it through Congress.

“This bill is about unifying our nation, embracing American family values, and protecting our children,” House Speaker Paul Ryan said in a statement.

Republicans believe the shooting in Las Vegas, which killed 59 concertgoers, was the result of increasing government regulation and fewer civil liberties. “The shooting in Las Vegas highlights the price we pay for freedom,” disgraced Fox News host Bill O’Reilly said from his basement on his ham radio show, “If we want to be free, we have to accept that we all might die in a mass shooting one day,” O’Reilly continued until he was cut off by his mom calling him up for dinner.

The National Explosive Ordinance Association, a backer of the bill, has also been targeted by Democrats for millions of dollars in donations it has made to sponsors of the bill. One of these sponsors, Senator Mitch McConnell, explained his position in an unlit room with the curtains drawn, “This is about our freedom. We can’t begin regulating the places where our children play. Signs will be put up and it should be the parents choice if they want their child to play there or not,” he said while slowly stroking the hairless cat in his lap, “It’s not the government’s place to tell industry where they can and can’t place their land mines. We have more important issues to focus on, like our 12th attempt at repealing universal healthcare.”

When asked if he worried about children being blown up by these landmines McConnell responded, “Now is not the time to politicize children exploding on playgrounds. Right now we have to honor the memory of those killed in Las Vegas, and this bill is exactly what that does.”