WASHINGTON, D.C. — The bill, known as the “American Infrastructure, Kind Of, But Not Really Act,” was initially intended to rename a post office after a mid-level Revolutionary War horse. However, a clerical mix-up led to the inclusion of several amendments that fully funded bridge repairs, rural broadband, and teacher salaries — all of which passed because no one was paying attention.
“This is an outrage,” said Senator Rick Mallory (R–TX), who later admitted he hadn’t read the bill because he was “busy tweeting about it.” Meanwhile, Representative Karen Delgado (D–CA) took credit for “years of tireless work” on what she discovered was an entirely different bill.
Cable news anchors were equally stunned. “It’s unprecedented,” said a visibly shaken pundit. “Congress may have just demonstrated accidental competence. The implications are terrifying.”
The President held a brief press conference to praise the legislation, though he accidentally called it “The Inflation Evasion Vacation Act,” then wandered off to inspect a nearby ice cream truck.
As of press time, lawmakers from both parties vowed to undo the mistake. “If this starts a precedent of results,” warned one senior aide, “we’re going to have to rethink our entire business model.”
The horse, posthumously honored by mistake, could not be reached for comment.
